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2 years ago
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Women be like:

2 years ago
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50-funny-santa-jokes-that-are-too-ho-ho-hilarious-to-ignore-updated-2022-edition

Santa Claus is part of the children's universe, gives them confidence, security and emotional balance, and his myth, with a long and strong tradition, strengthens the family's values.


Even though his name and representations have changed over time, Santa Claus remains the most famous character associated with the great celebration of Christmas.


The myth of Santa Claus is based on a real character, Saint Nicholas, who became famous by giving gifts, giving money and generously helping the poor.


Once upon a time there was a man named Nicholas who gave food and gifts to poor or parentless children. That's why many people now dress like Santa Claus, to remember what Nicholas once did - we can explain to our children.


Important are these values, which inspire the little ones, and this is the spirit of Christmas.


While you look through the jokes, check some interesting facts collected by Bemorepanda about Santa Claus below.


1. How can Santa fight with Karate skills? Because he has a black belt.


2. How does Santa lift a frozen car? With the help of Jack Frost.


3. What do you say when Santa calls out your name for attendance? Present!


In northern culture, elves, or gnomes, once guarded man's house from evil spirits. They were loved, or hated, because although they behaved kindly, they could sometimes be bad if they were not treated properly.


In the Middle Ages, they waited for gifts rather than make them, and it was even said that they sometimes stole the gifts that Santa brought.


Only much later did the elves become friends and helpers of Santa Claus.


4. What is it called when Santa claps his hands? A Santapplause.


5. What is Santa's mother-tongue? North Polish.


6. What famous actress would Santa take up for a ride on his sleigh? Holly Hunter.


In the 16th century, St. Nicholas, the archetype of Santa Claus, a descendant of the spirits and elves who accompanied the procession of Hellequin, the savage hunter who kidnapped children and led the processions of death on winter nights, was celebrated in the Netherlands.


This Saint Nicholas, descendant of the elves, emigrated to America with the Dutch and the Nordic populations, in the 17th and 18th centuries. The Dutch are now calling Santa Claus Sinterklaas.


7. What would you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.


8. Where does Santa spend his holiday? In a ho-ho-hotel.


9. Who gives the best Christmas gifts to the cats and dogs? The Santa Paws.


The American character Santa Claus is also the figure being inspired by St. Nicholas himself.


In 1823, the poem “A visit from St. Nicholas ”, written by Clement Clarke Moore, is so popular that it is learned by heart by Americans.


The little poem also inspires Thomas Nast, the cartoonist of Harper's Illustrated Weekly, who in 1881 published a drawing of Santa Claus dressed in a suit adorned with black buttons and a leather belt.


10. Who gives the best Christmas presents in the dentist's office? Santa Jaws.


11. Why did Santa put a clock on the sleigh? He wanted to see time fly.


12. Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him well.


13. Why won't Santa stay sick for long? Because he has a private elf-care.


This way of illustrating Santa has been used for decades and has been the basis for the creation of his modern image.


Also Nast, in 1885, drew two children looking at a map of the world and following Santa's reindeer-drawn sleigh ride from the North Pole to the United States. From then on, it was assumed that the good old man would live there in the far north.


14. What are Santa's reindeer wranglers called? The Jolly Ranchers.


15. What are Santa Claus' little helpers who love grammar called? Subordinate Clauses.


16. What did Mrs Claus exclaim when she saw her husband put on his suit after a wet Christmas? "Your suit has rain, dear!"


In 1931, Santa Claus received a new look through a Coca-Cola advertising campaign that wanted to expand its market to children. And so Coca-Cola red and white became Santa's colors.


Cartoonist Haddon Sundblom depicted Santa Claus dressed in a red suit with a white beard, a plump belly and a jovial air and full of gifts for good children


The illustrations created by Haddon Sundblom created the most popular representation of Santa Claus and are still used today by the soft drink company in its advertising campaigns.


17. What do elves learn in school? Elf-abets.


18. What do you call Santa with a pet cat? Santa Claws.


19. What do you call Santa with a pet frog called? Santa and Mistletoad.


The British also adopted Santa Claus in the late 19th century and called him Father Christmas.


In France, Père Noël officially arrived only at the end of World War II, although characters who resembled it had already appeared a few decades earlier. Père Noël also comes to children from Belgium, and Santa Claus to Spain and Brazil.


In Norway the old man is called Julenissen, in Finland Joulupukki, and in Sweden he is Jultomten


The Polish old man is Svaty Mikalas, and the one from Hungary is Mikulás. In Italy, Santa Claus is called Babbo Natale and has become the symbol of the confectionery industry, and in Portugal he is called Pai Natal.


For the Japanese it was called Oji-San, or Santa-san, and the Chinese call it Sheng Dan Lao Ren.


20. What is a singer elf called? A wrapper.


21. What is a reindeer's opening line before telling a joke? This joke will surely sleigh you.


22. What is the name of Santa's least favorite Reindeer? Rude-olph.


23. What would an elf who won a Santa lottery be called? A welfy.


Almost a century ago, it was discovered that there are no reindeer at the North Pole. To find Santa a new home, Markus Rautio, a children's presenter for the Finnish national radio station, said Santa lives in Finland in the Lapland town of Rovaniemi (Joulupukki in Finnish) at the foot of Mount Ureche. where there are reindeer.


In his village here, Santa works all year with his elves and here he receives the letters that children from all over the world write.


But Santa doesn't answer the selfish children who only ask for toys in letters, and if you want an answer from Santa, write to him from the heart, one of his elves urges us. Santa also receives visitors here, and children can even enter Santa's Office and tell him their wishes.


24. Where do you find reindeers? It depends on where Santa leaves them.


25. Why did Santa's little helper stand in the corner? Because he had low elf esteem.


26. Why won't Santa go to a hospital? Because he has his own elf care made out of subordinate clauses.


27. Why would Mrs Claus get mad at Santa? Because she believed her husband was a flake.


It is said that Santa Claus spends all year in Lapland with his disciples, and as Christmas approaches, he takes his presents for those who have been good and sets off around the world with his magic sleigh pulled by nine reindeer that can fly: Vixen, Blitzen, Comet, Cupid, Dancer, Dasher, Donder, Prancer and Rudolf, the most famous of them.


When he was little, Rudolf was touched by the magic of Christmas and since then his nose is bright and red.


28. How does Santa measure on the metric system? With a Santameter.


29. What do you call Santa country? A place where nationality is Santa Claus.


30. What do you call Santa on a break? Santa pause.


31. What is red, white, and falling down the chimney? A Santa Klutz.


32. What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Frosted flakes.


But how does Santa manage to get to the homes of all the children in the world in one night? Simple. A long time ago, Santa Claus and his elves discovered a special formula, which they keep secret, of the magic dust for reindeer, which makes them fly.


This magic dust spreads over each reindeer shortly before they leave Lapland on Christmas Eve, and they can fly around the world all night.


33. What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish.


34. What would Santa's favorite music be? Wrap.


35. What would Santa's favorite track and field event be? North pole-vaulting.


36. What would you call a poor Santa? Saint Nickel-less.


37. What would you get if Santa was crossed with Sherlock? Santa clues.


In Greenland there is a School of Santa Claus, whose graduates become licensed Santa Claus who help the original Santa because no matter how hard he tries, he still can't reach all the children in the world on his own.


Every year in July, in Denmark, is the World Congress of Santa Claus, where the authorized Santa Claus come from Greenland, Germany, Ireland, Norway, Italy, Japan, the Netherlands and the United States.


Santa Claus discusses here the approaching winter season, participates in a parade and has a swim in the sea, and on the last day of the Congress is designated Santa Claus of the Year, who will go to Lapland, in the village where Santa Claus lives .


38. Which singer does Santa love the most? Elf-is Presley.


39. Why can Santa Claus not enter an elevator? Because he is Claus-trophobic.


40. Why does Santa have a white beard? So that he can hide at the north pole.


No matter how busy it is during the year, every night on December 24, on Christmas Eve, Santa Claus slips through the chimney of the fireplace and leaves gifts for everyone in the boots under the decorated Christmas tree, tastes the milk and cakes left by the children and then leaves. back to cart.


But how did Santa slip on the basket? That's another story. The mystery that makes Christmas beautiful.

Merry Christmas, dear Bemorepanda friends!

Ho-Ho-Ho


41. How do you get a Christmas quacker? Cross Santa with a duck.


42. What's as big as Santa on a Christmas tree but weighs nothing? The shadow.


43. What does Santa put on his toast on Christmas? Jingle jam.


44. What do you call it if Santa stay at a beach on Christmas morning? Sandy Claus.


45. What would you say Christmas time is? A time when everyone gets Santamental.


46. What would you say if Santa was to move to the South pole on Christmas? Bi-polar.


47. Where do Christmas trees go to become movie stars? Holly-Wood.


48. Where does Father Christmas go to vote? The north poll-ing station


49. Who will bring teeth gifts during Christmas? Santa Floss.


50. What does Santa get if he eats Christmas decorations? He gets Tinsel-itis!



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@Marina Ho ho ho!
40-funny-husbands-whose-pranks-have-proved-that-the-other-half-will-never-get-bored-with-them

Strong relationships don't just happen; you need to work hard on them, investing time, patience and all your love. And the key to a good relationship is humor, which, like a good medicine, perfectly helps in any, even the most difficult situation, making it a little easier. Today we want to share with you jokes from guys and husbands with whom, we are sure, their second half will definitely not get bored.


Handsome boy with curly hair, dizzying smile and chivalrous spirits is no longer fashionable. Today's women want different men and we have collected some examples when humor and love are the basic ingredients.


Modern women believe that a real man is the one who knows how to cook, and that makes him an ideal husband. And he doesn't have to do anything special, even if he cuts a watermelon and arranges it nicely, he will make a woman happy. The relationship between husband and wife should not only be about living together, they should also become friends and counselors for each other. Learning to make decisions together is a crucial part of a happy marriage.


If your husband appreciates and respects you, he will never let you feel like his personal servant. He understands that you are tired at work and so he is always willing to help you clean up. In addition, doing household chores together is a great way to finish faster and spend more time together.


No one is perfect in this world, but when we fall in love we believe that we have found the ideal partner who embodies all that is best, beautiful and true. And this must be manifested over the years.


1.Cute daddy picture

 

2.This is co cute

 

3.Both graduated today

 

4.First day back to work

 

5.Motion sensor

 

6.He found his wife hairbrush

 

7.Cat

 

8.Picture idea

 

9.Best Christmas present

 

10.Ready to poop in the dark

 

11.Cat dad

 

12.Is our baby ok? My husband answers:

 

13.When she asked for a small coffee table

 

14.I’m counting on you

 

15.Comparation

 

16.You bastards

 

17.Evenings with my husband

 

18.Trying to lure my wife to hang out

 

19.Husband pics

 

20.Collectioner husband

 

21.Christmas present

 

22.Halloween vibes

 

23.Wife in Target

 

24.School time

 

25.Cards from my husband

 

26.My husband is a seller on Amazon

 

27.My husband announcing our pregnancy

 

28.Husband memory of painful breastfeeding

 

29.Let’s have some cozy pics

 

30.Funny husband

 

31. Pictures from my husband

 

32.Messing with the contractor

 

33.Photo by my husband

 

34.Milk maker award

 

35.Laughting about my favourite game

 

36.Shaggy

 

37.Evolution

 

38.Cat lover

 

39.Dog

 

40.Nintendo switch for Christmas

 

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compilation-of-top-funny-subreddits-on-reddit-to-find-hilarious-memes

Reddit is a website that calls itself the “home page of the Internet,” and it really does have something for everyone. On this site, registered community members from around the world send text messages, images and direct links to inform, entertain and entertain. Anyone can join Reddit for free by simply registering an account, but some people might not realize that the Reddit homepage is completely customizable for each user. You decide what content you see when you log in.

Here are the funniest subreddits on Reddit:


1. / r / AskReddit

Ask Reddit is a forum where people can ask the community a question and get answers from people from all walks of life. This subreddit is a real time killer. On this page, you can find the very best, unexplained paranormal stories, career tips, NSFW sex questions, and much, much more.


2. / r / HoldMyBeer

“Hold my beer” is a line often spoken right before someone does something totally epic ... or downright stupid. If you like silly human tricks and GIFs of people who narrowly escaped serious injury, this subreddit is for you! "



3. / r / Years of blunders

This is a subreddit that specializes in photographing people who have gone through an awkward phase. Each image is uploaded by the person in the image (unless explicitly given permission to share). This is not a place to publicly dishonor or embarrass anyone ... other than yourself!


Anyone who has ever had an awful haircut and braces back in 7th grade will recognize the shudder in these photos!



4. / r / Aww

"Jax is the official stamp licker at the post office."


Whether it's cute animals, a tender parenting moment, or just a cute depiction of something random, this subreddit is all about the things that make you say "oh".


5. / r / TodayILearned

This subreddit is dedicated to sharing new knowledge. Did you learn something cool today? Share it here with the Today I Learned (TIL) tag.


6. / r / Facepalm

There are tons of screenshots of text messages in this subreddit, but that's not all. If you've ever seen something so stupid as literally a facepalm, here's where to put it.

If you like memes on topics like "You Had One Job", terrible font choices and poor architectural design, this subreddit will make you laugh so hard on your sides!



7. / r / TrippinThroughTime

In this category, you will find the funniest art history snapshots and other museum memes that allow you to make the most modern artwork from different times.



8. / r / moderately vandalism

Sometimes graffiti is funny ... VERY funny! Check out this subreddit for well-prepared cases of vandalism that you would like to think about first.



9. / r / PerfectTiming

You've seen images like this before; typical action footage at the perfect time that you can't believe someone actually caught the camera? These photos are always amazing and the images found on this subreddit will not disappoint. Not all of them are funny, but all are definitely cool.



10. / r / WTF

This is a subreddit for all the most interesting moments of life. The submarine does not allow for anything truly shocking, and baking is not allowed here. Users are also prohibited from posting screenshots taken from social media or using other methods of public shame. (If that's what you want, try Facebook Crazy People.) It's just pure, genuine damn moments!



11. / r / NoContextPics

Unlike the huge and ubiquitous r / Pics subreddit, No Context Pics is all about images. r / Pics tends to get a little shaky with all the tragic backstories, so this subtitle has the following rule:


“The purpose of this subreddit is to share interesting photos without any context. Photos must be inherently successful or unsuccessful. No tearful stories. No stories of any kind. "



12. / r / EarthPorn

Everyone needs a little beauty in life! If you enjoy watching gorgeous photos from the most breathtaking and remote locations on the planet, you must subscribe to this subscription. This "porn" is 100% SFW (safe to work), as it contains nothing but pure, stunning perspectives in nature.


This photo was taken at Moraine Lake, Canada. Who else wants to go there right now ?!


13. / r / MildlyInteresting

Of course, these are not the most interesting pictures or stories you have ever seen, but they are still quite interesting and worth talking about. Take, for example, this tree that "looks straight up like broccoli." It's cool and I'm glad I saw it, although it's not awesome.


And other with many followers:

14.photoshopbattles - 15.1 million subscribers

15.disnevacation - 462,000 subscribers

16.BreadStapledToTrees - 193,000 subscribers

17.iamverysmart - 1 million subscribers

18.Jokes - 16.6 million subscribers

19.r/fakehistoryporn

20.r/ScottishPeopleTwitter



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insomnia-memes-funny-30-sleeping-jokes-and-tweets-for-people-who-cant-sleep

Insomnia is a sleep disorder that is manifested by difficulty falling asleep, waking up at night or poor quality sleep. Considered one of the most common modern conditions, left untreated, insomnia can affect the cardiovascular system, decrease the power of concentration and increase the risk of obesity.


Sleep is a vital physiological phenomenon, and sleep disorders have a significant negative impact on health. Sleep assessment is performed both quantitatively and qualitatively. The quantitative component involves determining the duration of sleep, while the qualitative component is evaluated subjectively and is expressed by the depth of sleep and the feeling of rest on waking. Difficulty falling asleep and maintaining sleep affects 15-35% of the adult population. Poor sleep quality has been associated with a number of conditions, with a known link between sleep disorders, cardiovascular risk factors, metabolic syndrome and cardiovascular morbidity.


While viewing some funny insomnia memes, you can also read below, important information about insomnia.


1.Move into the forest


2.Night thoughts


3.When you watch your series at night


You feel like you could sleep for weeks. You wake up so tired that it is extremely difficult for you to focus on even the most mundane tasks and you feel more anxious than ever.


How are you sleeping? Do you manage to fall asleep shortly after you go to bed or stay with your eyes hanging on the walls until late?


A few hours of sleep does not necessarily mean that the person suffers from insomnia. A person's sleep schedule varies not only according to age and sex, but also according to the particularities of each individual. However, there are a number of hours of sleep that a person needs to rest, and this is determined by scientific consensus, depending on age. This data is not nailed down, but it helps us get an idea of ​​how much sleep we should have for the body to replenish its energy stores. So:


  • adults need 7-9 hours of sleep;
  • young people between 12-18 years old need 8-10 hours of sleep;
  • children between 2-12 years old need about 9-12 hours of sleep;
  • newborns and children up to 2 years of age should sleep around 11-14 hours a day.


4.Insomnia vs headphones


5.Math at night


6.Because you are awake


Insomnia can set in even if a person respects the number of hours of sleep. In this case, it may be a poor quality sleep (with frequent awakenings and difficult sleep).


Primary insomnia is the lack of sleep that sets in as a result of a disordered lifestyle, stress, trauma, family problems. Normally, the condition disappears on its own if we no longer feel stress, if the trauma disappears, if we change our unhealthy lifestyle. Sometimes it can only be about changing the time we go to bed, or following a few rules in the bedroom (no phones next to us, no reading on the tablet before bed, or going to bed at a reasonable time).


7.Anxiety


8.What was the reason?


9.I need to sleep


Insomnia can exist as a symptom, when it occurs sporadically and for a short period or it can be as a disease, when the duration of persistence is over 3 months. Although many people have difficulty falling asleep or maintaining a good state of sleep until morning, even when they are in good condition, very few of them turn to a specialist to determine the causes of their disorders and receive appropriate treatment.


Factors that influence the quantity and quality of sleep are represented by: light / dark, environmental and social factors (intense physical activity, prolonged rest periods, night shifts, mental trauma, stressful situations, temperature variations, various mental disorders).


The treatment of insomnia is especially important for increasing the patient's quality of life. The return to physiological sleep is progressive, this process being long lasting.


10.My brain at 2 a.m


11.Why though?


12.Still can’t fall asleep


13.Stop it


14.Never had a sleep problem


15.My brain


16.I use 9gag to sleep


17.Thinking about what?


18.Brain, let me sleep


20.Can’t sleep because i’m thirsty


21.How I sleep


22.Can’t wait to wake up


23.Suffering from insomnia


24.Auditory hallucinations


25.Are you sleeping?


26.Talking buds when you are sleeping



27.Laying in bed


28.When my alarm wakes me up


29.Resting your eyes in the morning


30.Me all night vs when the alarm rings


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@Marina That is so me!
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