A collection of top 50 funny quotes by Donald Trump since becoming president. You Have To Read To Believe
Trump represents the Republican Party and is the 45th president of the United States. Prior to his presidency, he was a businessman and TV personality.
Donald Trump may be best known for saying "you're fired," but since he just announced - again - that he is running for president of the United States, the world has remembered another Trump trait: his ability to churn out sentences that are guaranteed to make any thinking person cringe.
Racist, sexist, bizarre and just plain obscene, these quotes from Donald Trump come directly from the mouth of America's Republican presidential candidate.
1."That makes me smart." — Trump on perhaps not paying federal income taxes
2."I know nothing about the inter workings of Russia."
3."Haven't we all...are we babies?" — Trump on whether or not he's had threesomes
4."That may be the best idea of all. I would say I'm the all-time judge, don't forget, I own the Miss Universe pageant." — Trump on doing a show where he simply rates women
5."No, I have no age — I mean, I have age limit. I don't want to be like Congressman Foley, with, you know, 12-year-olds." — Trump on whether or not he has an age limit for women he sleeps with
6.Howard Stern: "By the way, your daughter."
Trump: "She's beautiful."
Stern: "Can I say this? A piece of ass."
7."He feels a strong connection to Scotland. He gets his skin tone from Irn-Bru"
8."What is it at 35? It's called check-out time." — Trump on relationships with women
9."I'm not a schmuck. Even if the world is going to hell in a hand-basket, I won't lose a penny."
10."I'm proud of my net worth; I've done an amazing job...The total is $8,737,540,000 USD. I'm not doing that to brag, because you know what, I don't have to brag."
11."I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I'm more honest and my women are more beautiful."
12."Our great African-American President hasn't exactly had a positive impact on the thugs who are so happily and openly destroying Baltimore!"
13."I Have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke."
14.“I did try and fuck her... I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there. And she was married.” — Trump on a woman he tried to seduce
15."I take advantage of the laws of the nation. Because I'm running a company."
16."When Mexico sends its people, they're not sending the best. They're not sending you, they're sending people that have lots of problems and they're bringing those problems. They're bringing drugs, they're bringing crime. They're rapists and some, I assume, are good people, but I speak to border guards and they're telling us what we're getting."
17."Ariana Huffington is unattractive both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man--he made a good decision."
18."I'm their worst nightmare."
19."I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created."
20."They had a person who was extremely proud that a number of the women had become doctors. And I wasn't interested." — Trump on the Miss America pageant
21.Nobody has better respect for intelligence than Donald Trump
22."Before a show, I'll go backstage and everyone's getting dressed, and everything else, and you know, no men are anywhere, and I'm allowed to go in because I'm the owner of the pageant and therefore I'm inspecting it...You know, they're standing there with no clothes. And you see these incredible looking women, and so, I sort of get away with things like that." — Trump on the Miss America pageant
23."My Twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make my enemies tell the truth."
24."All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me--consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected."
25."We have a 5 billion dollar website. I have so many websites. I have them all over the place... I hire people... it costs me three dollars."
26."I've said if Ivanka weren't my daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her."
27."You know, it really doesn't matter what the media write, as long as you've got a young and beautiful piece of ass."
28."I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything.” — Trump on women
29."It's freezing and snowing in New York--we need global warming!"
30."I will build a great wall--and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me--and I'll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words."
43."I have a great relationship with the blacks."
49."My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body."
Alexander Grigorievich Lukashenko is the first and only president of the Republic of Belarus, whom the people have trusted for more than two decades. In the world community, the Belarusian leader is called the last dictator of Europe with a hint of his undemocratic rule.
He is also well known for the funny, rather sarcastic phrases he says. His phrases are immediately about the dictatorship, the system and the people of the country. Bemorepanda collected the 50 funniest quotes of the Belarusian president.
It's better to be a dictator than gay.
There are dictators a bit worse than me, no? I'm the lesser evil already.
If someone is a lesbian, it's man's fault
I ask myself what is a dictator? I don't understand. It is some kind of terrible person, a bad person. But I am not frightening. I am not a bad person at all.
Belarus is not a superpower, but we pay a lot of attention to sports.
Look outside the window. Do you see the fence outside the palace? Do you see any guards? This is a country where everyone is safe.
I really like to play football, hockey, but more often I play alone.
Belarus stood on the edge of an abyss, and I helped her take a step forward.
We solved this problem in a narrow circle of limited people.
Milosevic was an outstanding politician who gave his all to serving his fatherland.
I promise that by the New Year every Belarusian will have normal human eggs on the table.
We will widen this bottleneck and increase the birth rate.
You will live badly, but not for long!
In my view this is not democracy, but a zoo.... It was exactly what we expected, but not on that scale nor in that form. In a word, it was nothing but a zoo, you can't put it better
If you don't have money for a restaurant, talk to a girl in your student residence. Buy kefir and a bun.
Who drinks - better not vote for me, I will not be friends with such.
Whoever drinks will not have normal children. We will fight this evil as the most terrible evil. And it turns out - he got drunk, accidentally gave birth, and you, Lukashenko, grow this child. And there are 35 thousand such children in our country.
The Belarusian people took a chance and elected me President. This is extremely rare in history and may not be more.
A thug only understands you when you speak his language
As a child, I grew up among animals and plants.
I will not lead my state after the civilized world.
I worked in the village and lived with the men.
The Internet is such a trash, in which everything is there and even useful.
A philosophical thought has fallen upon me, so to speak! I just have to be in the center now!
The uniqueness of the situation in Belarus lies in the fact that I owe nothing to anyone.
For the sake of maintaining peace in the country, I am ready to sacrifice my own mind!
Lukashenka cannot steal. Understand you - there is nowhere to hide.
We will provide them with humanitarian aid ... with weapons.
I went in - aerobics. They showed me there because I had never seen aerobics. I immediately said: “These beauties would be on skis!"
I really love sports - this is my best quality.
Why should a pensioner travel for free ... everything is nearby, both the pharmacy and the store ... was it in vain that they built?
Our family has one, one and a half, two children maximum!
You asked for rain - I gave you rain!
We do not need such a democracy with hubbub. We need democracy when a person works, receives at least some salary in order to buy bread, milk, sour cream, cottage cheese, sometimes a piece of meat to feed a child, and so on. Well, let's not eat a lot with meat in the summer.
Losing a teacher - the end, we will go drunk and bad.
For the first time in the last ten years, on the night of 31st to 1st, absolutely all Minsk residents - 2 million people took to the streets. I didn't expect 2 million to be on the streets. I would also come to see this miracle from my forest.
What I have not seen there in Europe! Everything is dirty! People rub against each other ...
I felt the warheads with my own hands and I know that no one will take them off.
I don’t want to talk about any Barroso (President of the European Commission), other goats, bulls and others ... Goats - they are goats ...
Humanitarian aid is free, it is for the people, including scientists and officials.
There should be at least warm water in the evening so that a young milkmaid can come home after work, to wash with her husband in bed.
Well, a dictator, so a dictator. This also has a certain payoff. This is the last! Can you imagine? Last! If you didn’t come here, where would you meet and talk to him in your life.
Determine where people should gather for rallies, especially oppositionists and other rabble!
I am an ardent opponent of benefits. In all elections I usually say: “Down with benefits!”, And the people happily support me: “Hurray! Down with benefits! "
Belarus is like a crystal vessel, a weak crystal vessel, which I have been carrying in my hands for two decades and I'm afraid to drop it.
There are figures who go to jail themselves. They say that Lukashenka was imprisoned. I'm not planting anyone! I protect so that I don't go to jail. And he stretches out his hands: cling to his handcuffs.
This is very Belarusian: first to do something very carefully, and then to refine it.
Respect the Belarusian people, be patient with Lukashenka.
I have heard that I am criticized for kissing the Koran. Erdogan was presented with the Koran, he kissed him. They gave me the same one, but what should I have done? Someone already thinks that they baptized me.
We support them, we give money so that there is something to drink and eat.
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It's a shame when your favorite fast food restaurant does wrong with you. The reason for this, most likely, is personnel error, but sometimes it seems that this is a uniform mockery. Well, how can you forget to put a patty in a burger? All in all, McDonald’s, you break my heart, don’t do that.
1.Why put six normal nuggets when you can stick three shapeless and death-fried pieces?
2.He asked to add pickled cucumbers.
3.Is mini chicken new on the menu?
4.Do you know why mozzarella sticks are so light? Because they stupidly do not have mozzarella.
5.This breakfast was supposed to be with egg and cheese, but looks like sadness in the form of a sandwich.
6.Who needs chicken in McChicken?
7.The cook decided to make vegetarians out of his clients?
8.It seems you forgot to put something. The most important thing.
9.Putting pickled cucumbers inward is a past century.
10.In fact, all salads should be so small.
11.Super flat burger. It’s as if a skating rink has passed on it.
12.Both vanilla and chocolate shakes. Because just chocolate is the mainstream.
13.I requested without Canadian bacon.
14.Not a piece of cheese, but a mockery.
15.Yes baby, I love my burger with cheese and onions.
It's already autumn but coronavirus jokes are not going anywhere. View the latest, fresh collection of funny memes to boost your mood this fall
Due to the rapid spread of the coronavirus, there is practically no place for a joke in the world. However, some Internet users and individual opinion leaders manage to bring a smile on the faces of millions of people, even in a difficult epidemiological situation.
Coronavirus is a sore subject of recent weeks, about which people jokes every day. In the era of global cataclysms, people are saved by humor. Users of social networks never cease to amuse and amaze with their resourcefulness and humorous talent. Experience shows that laughter is one of the most effective ways to relieve stress and discomfort caused by quarantine and the state of emergency.
Numerous memes and cartoons, which multiply like mushrooms after rain on the Internet, help to dispel boredom and drive away fear. This is the compilation with best coronavirus memes.
1.Telling my future grandchildren about coronavirus
2.Primary school children coming back to school after corona ends in 2040
3.Coronavirus in 2020 hitting me
4.Lifestyle during quarantine
5.Coronavirus can be killed by alcohol
6.Jobs closing down because of corona
7.Introverts and coronavirus
8.Parenting during coronavirus quarantine
9.Coronavirus cancel bills
10.When you work at bank during corona
11.Flights during quarantine
12.Washing hands during coronavirus
13.Online lessons during quarantine
14.Cooking during quarantine
15.Laughting at corona memes
16.China and coronavirus
17.Toilet paper and quarantine story in 2040
18.Feelings for coronavirus
19.Russia finds a vaccine for Coronavirus
20.Golf balls during pandemic
We humans are capable of learning, reasoning, and problem solving. We are aware of ourselves and also aware of the presence, thoughts and feelings of others. We make tools and practice the art of deception. We are creative. We think abstractly. We have a language and we use it to express complex ideas. All these are, perhaps, signs of intelligence. Scientists may disagree with the best and most comprehensive definition of intelligence, but in general they agree that humans are highly intelligent.
Other fauna also show signs of intelligence, and some scientists may say that defining animal and human intelligence is just a matter of degree - a question that was realized in 2005 when London Zoo placed "Homo sapiens". in the exhibition pictured here. Click forward to learn about nine other species that stand out for their intelligence.
Chimpanzees are almost the same as us
If we humans have intelligence, then chimpanzees must also have intelligence: our genomes are at least 98 percent identical. Chimpanzees make and use tools, hunt in organized groups and engage in violent acts. Wild troops have excellent behavior and customs. Field observations and laboratory experiments show that chimpanzees are capable of empathy, altruism, and self-awareness. In the experiment pictured here, chimpanzees performed better on a numerical memory test than humans.
Dolphins get creative
This Australian dolphin uses a sponge to protect its muzzle while feeding on the seabed, a tool-using behavior that is passed from mother to daughter. Scientists say this is just one sign of dolphin intelligence. Other signs include distinct whistles and clicks, which may serve as dolphin names, possibly used in some sort of language. A famous experiment from the 1960s showed that a pair of dolphins immersed themselves in the creative process when they realized that their new behavior was rewarded by the fish. Frustrated human subjects simply breathed a sigh of relief when they grasped the idea.
Elephants show self-awareness
The sheer size of their brains suggests that elephants need to know a thing or two about lifestyle. They have been observed to comfort family members, help other species during difficult times, play in the water, and communicate with each other through vibrations felt in their feet. According to some researchers, the main achievement was that an Asian elephant named Happy recognized herself in the mirror. Complex behavior is typical only for humans, great apes and dolphins.
Cephalopods have large brains
Are octopuses, squids and cuttlefish smart? It's a matter of scientific intrigue, but these cephalopods are certainly some of the smartest invertebrates in the sea. The brain of cephalopods surrounds the esophagus, but shares common complexity with the human brain, such as folded lobes and separate areas for processing visual and tactile information. The debate about how smart revolves around deciphering observations that these creatures have a seemingly irresistible curiosity, disregard for boredom, the ability to learn, and the ability to use tools. The octopus pictured here controls the muscles to eat.
Crows get crafty
Crows are crafty creatures: they forge tools from branches, feathers and other debris to catch food in hard-to-reach places. The crow named Betty, pictured here, uses a straight wire that it has bent into a hook to pull food out of the tube. Birds are born with the ethics of tool making, but they hone their craft by overseeing their elders, a sign of higher intelligence. Crows, a species of crow, have been shown to manipulate the results of their social interactions for added protection and more food.
Squirrels can be deceptive
Is the squirrel pictured here plotting a deception? Maybe. Researchers recently reported that rodents put on sophisticated shows of deceptive caching to thwart potential thieves. The behavior intensified in a laboratory experiment after squirrels watched people steal their peanuts. The researchers called the finding a sign that proteins can interpret the intentions of other people, although this may simply be a manifestation of learned behavior. Other studies have shown that animals make 3D maps to remember where they store their nuts. And squirrels in California will cover their fur with the scent of rattlesnakes to hide their scent from predators.
Man's best friend
Are dogs smart or really good at basic obedience? For example, they can learn to sit, lie down, and bring things, but can they read their master's intentions? Research shows that they can at least find food in response to non-verbal cues, a type of understanding that scientists believe may be akin to a person's ability to understand.