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What harmful things are being taught to children? Top 30 Reddit answers

2 years ago
what-harmful-things-are-being-taught-to-children-top-30-reddit-answers

If you want to prepare your child for the future, you need to help him develop a strong and especially positive self-image. Equally important are self-discipline (which they often lack), social and emotional skills, and a sense of responsibility (from an early age). You need to start working on all these aspects in time, even when the little one goes to kindergarten and starts to get in touch with people outside the family on a daily basis. It is an enormous responsibility and a mission quite difficult to accomplish.


Education based on feeling management is not just a fad or a simple tool for psychologists, but it is an effective way to use your knowledge and talent to have a good relationship with your child. In this type of education you do nothing but use your knowledge and emotional skills to teach him how to react to social situations. You need to keep in mind a few things that will help you manage your relationship with your little one properly.


Children should be encouraged and taught with a lot of love and affection. In this top collected by Bemorepanda, maybe you will notice a mistake of yours that you commit in the child's education, it is never too late to change that, in order to raise a child worthy of a welcoming and loving society.



1.Bullying taught incorrectly


2.Boys cry!


3.Don’t do this to your child


4.How to think


5.No questions?


6.Failure is bad


7.Eating everything


8.Snitching


9.Being wrong is normal!


10.Sex education


11.Preschool


12.No is a bad word


13.Stress


14.News


15.Adult problems


16.I’m an adult!


17.Harmful


18.If he’s mean he likes you


19.Sex education


20.Complaining


21.Parents never mistake


22.Social media


23.Doing the right thing


24.Highschool level


25.Going too far


26.Divorce


27.Political views


28.Everybody is a winner


29.About illness


30.Mistakes


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top-10-best-of-reddit-posts-for-this-week-by-the-number-of-upvotes-bemorepanda

Reddit is the place where you can find practically anything, and curiosities about everything in the world are definitely on this list.

 

This platform is difficult to fall into a certain category. However, in essence, it is a huge collection of forums, where you can find news, answers to questions or debate certain topics. Among all this, you can find all sorts of interesting things about the world around us.

 

So by giving an answer you can reach the top of the discussions. On Reddit, indeed, we found a multitude of surprising answers to more and more questions. Bemorepanda selected the most upvoted for you.

 

1.Right after Kobe Bryant's Death, reddit u/Panorama correctly detailed what happened. His analysis was confirmed a year later by the NTSB.

Upvotes: 14,8k

Картинки по запросу "kobe bryant crash"

No, as a helicopter pilot I can explain this.

 

The aircraft was flying VFR, which means not on instruments. Helicopters are allowed to fly during daylight in the type of airspace he was operating in from John Wayne to the crash site in 1/2 mile visibility and clear of clouds. This is predicated on the pilot determining he is in fact flying in at least 1/2 mile visibility and clear of clouds. This is not easily done, because it can be difficult to tell whether your projected flight path will keep you out of the clouds and clouds are a kind of fuzzy looking beast in front of you, or hopefully above you, and it can be very difficult to assure you aren’t going to fly into a cloud or an area of reduced visibility up ahead. This is why you shouldn’t play with fire; just land, at an airport preferably or street, park, etc.

 

The altitude read outs you see on these radar tracks are what the transponder reports which is Pressure Altitude, the height above the 29.92” Hg standard datum plane. This is essentially above sea level under yesterday’s conditions. So, if the altitude readout says 1,400’ you could actually be on the ground if the elevation where you are is 1,400’. What would be great is an Above Ground Level (AGL) readout, which can be determined by comparing the flight path with topographical maps.

 

I am a pilot who flies in Los Angeles and knows SoCal very well. I know the elevations throughout most of SoCal. This pilot was flying as low as 150’ at numerous times throughout this flight. This was done to “scud run” and get through to his destination. This is unacceptable and a very dangerous practice. He had multiple chances to end the flight by landing, somewhere. He kept pushing through, into rising terrain westbound towards Calabasas. If you have bad visibility and ceilings in the San Fernando Valley you are definitely going to have a much worse time in higher terrain.

 

It appears he flew into the clouds/fog shortly after. After realizing he was Inadvertent-Instrument Meteorological Conditions (I-IMC, or “cant see because he’s in a cloud”) he did the right thing by focusing on instruments instead, since he has no visual reference with the ground anymore. He actually began to do the right thing by climbing and starting a 180 degree turn. However, most helicopter pilots are not good at flying on instruments since we basically never do it after receiving the rating for the ability. There is a whole conversation of reasons why that is the case but is outside the scope of this comment. So the pilot likely developed Spatial Disorientation and lost control of the helicopter, which is indicated by the rapid descent in the last seconds of the flight.

 

As a helicopter pilot this absolutely enrages me. How someone could flout company policy, standard procedures, regulations and exhibit no shred of professionalism to keep everyone onboard safe is beyond me. He could have just landed at Van Nuys and they could get a car service the rest of the way. I have done this a BUNCH of times, is a little disappointing when you can’t make it to the destination but this was some of the worst conditions we’ve seen in a long while and in the end: what are you doing risking people’s lives to please them? Just. Fucking. Land.

 

Edit: Wow! Thanks for the gold!!

 

Edit 2: I want to make clear in my post (as I have in responses to comments elsewhere) that this is my opinion only. My opinion based off of publicly available data, knowledge from having worked in the industry for 15 years, knowledge of the aircraft, having flown the specific type of aircraft, knowledge of the regulations regarding Part 91, Part 135, and VFR and IFR regulations, local knowledge being a pilot here, and being well-aware of the leading causes of accidents in the helicopter industry. I too am a Certified Flight Instructor and Instrument-Instructor in Helicopters. However, until the NTSB concludes their investigation and finds a cause for this accident then my opinion is only my opinion and not fact. I sincerely, and with all my heart, hope that the NTSB finds a mechanical irregularity led to this accident. Helicopter pilots are a very tight community and we are all brothers. I hope Zobayan is flying his favorite heli right now wherever he is.

 

2./u/dijon_snow theorizes why when Trump's defense lawyers may be misspelling simple words like "United States" and "District" on purpose

Upvotes: 5,9k

At this point it almost has to be intentional. Here are a few potential reasons for it:

  1. Shift focus to the trivial. If we're talking about their spelling errors we're not talking about how incredibly ludicrous the content is. They have no valid defense, but now instead of dissecting their brief on its (complete lack of) merits, we are criticizing a typo. Since it's the most obvious, and most ridiculous of all the many criticisms of the document it soaks up a lot of the negative attention.
  2. That focus makes critics seem petty. Everyone makes mistakes. It's a typo. You know what they meant. You must be focusing on something so minor because that's all you got. Nothing burger. To the rest of us it's just the most obvious sign that they are incompetent, but if you're already predisposed to support the brief, it's an extremely forgivable and inconsequential error that your opposition is making a big deal out of.
  3. Taking advantage of some counter intuitive cognitive biases. The human mind tends to average things that should be summed. Even though it's irrational. If you accuse someone of stealing a $10k car and a $5 hood ornament, people tend to perceive the crime as less than just stealing the car. They will average the severity of the crimes instead of adding them together. By adding in spelling errors some of the audience will average the penalty for spelling errors (minimal, I think we would all agree) with the penalty for sedition (much higher) even though that isn't rational.
  4. It signals anti-intellectualism. Only stuck up academics care about spelling. Real Americans care about what you're saying, not how pretty the words are or how they're spelled. The target audience has had their spelling and grammar corrected constantly their entire lives by people who make them feel dumb and lesser. They hate those people.

 

3.u/dididaylia gives their account of what it's like to legally live under Sharia law in "moderately Muslim" Malaysia.

Upvotes: 5,6k

Картинки по запросу "malayesian women goes to cort"

Non Muslims are not subjected to Sharia law. So if you are a Christian or Hindu on paper, then Sharia law will not affect you whatsoever.

How Sharia law affects me:

  1. I can't eat out during Ramadhan (I have to watch my back, there are religious police)
  2. Can't consume alcohol. (As with the 1st point, you can avoid the religious police by going to high end bars, they will never catch you there)
  3. Islamic eduction (Primary and secondary education was the WORST period of my life. I had to be separated from my friends to go to Islamic classes 3 times a week. I can't even express how much this scarred me. I fucking despised it. Sitting in class as an agnostic, I was taught that apostates should be given the death penalty. And this was in a textbook provided by the government. The teacher that taught the class would pester me everyday why I'm not wearing a hijab. She bought me one and told me to wear it beginning the next day, I threw it in the bin in front of her. Everyday when prayer time comes, a disciplinary teacher who monitors the halls will ask me to see her outside the class and she'll ask me why I'm not praying. I always gave her the excuse that I'm on my period, literally every day. One time, she touched my private area to check if I had a pad on. I'm still traumatised by that. I still remember what she wore that day. I don't think I'll ever forget.)
  4. Continuation from third point. I have become terrified of Malays and Muslims. I can't help it. If I see a Malay in an event or public space, I don't talk to them, I don't want to be their friend, I avoid them at all cost. Why? Because I'm terrified of them. If I meet 1000 Malays and they for whatever reason suspect me as an apostate, 999 of them are cool with me and 1 person will report me to the religious police, I'll avoid them all. I do have some friends I met from work that are non practising Muslims and they are one of my best friends now. Made me realise how much I'm missing out by avoiding an entire race of people. But I can't change this out of my own safety.
  5. I can be prosecuted for premarital sex. Religious police conduct random raids of hotels and anyone can also report me to the religious police if they suspect me doing it. I remember going on a trip with my friends to another state. There were guys and girls, and we all stayed in an Airbnb together. I was terrified of handing over my Id to the house owner. During the entire trip, I kept thinking that the religious police will come and get me.
  6. This is the one that hurts me the most. I cry thinking about this every time. I can't marry or have children of my own. Who I marry has to convert to Islam and has to pretend just like I have my whole life. And if I have any children, they will automatically be Muslims, they won't have a choice. And they'll be subjected to everything I gone through from point 1 to point 5.

In conclusion, I just want freedom. That's it. I don't care if a person is a Muslim. That's up to them, I genuinely don't care. I just wish I can believe in anything I want. It doesn't harm anybody.

This is why I wish reincarnation was real, if I had a choice, I'd like to be reborn as a human again. Of course, in a normal country, not one where there's no freedom of religion. At the same time, I also look on the bright side, at least I wasn't born in Iran or North Korea right? Ahhahaha

 

4.u/huianxin summarizes the history of sushi in the United States to explain why Molly Ringwald eating sushi for lunch would be seen as snobbish in 1985's The Breakfast Club.

Upvotes: 5k

Картинки по запросу "sushi in the United States to explain why Molly Ringwald eating sushi for lunch would be seen as snobbish in 1985's The Breakfast Club."

I have not seen The Breakfast Club to fully understand the context of the scene. Moreover most of my studies regarding food history lie in East Asia, but I can offer some comments on sushi in America. Sushi in the 1980's would still be considered a meal for an occasion, perhaps not as common a meal for the American culinary vocab as it is nowadays, sitting alongside staples such as pizza or tacos with its accessibility through restaurant takeouts or supermarket trays. Certainly, having a decently priced item such as sushi for high school lunch would draw the comments of fellow students.

 

Japanese food only began to become part of the public American conscious around the 1960's. Following the postwar economic boom years and America's involvement with rebuilding efforts, Japanese culture on a whole began to make waves in America. The worldwide civil unrest of the 60's allowed for American attitudes to broaden and diversify, by the 70's cosmopolitan and consumerist culture meant many educated and upper class families could afford to pursue more adventurous foods. The Immigration and Nationality Act of 1965 allowed for, as its name suggest, more immigration and thus an increase in diversity. This then allowed for ethnic restaurants to open up, sometimes catering to ethnic communities but also for the local populace as well. While there wasn't as big of an immigration of Japanese as other groups during this time, the broadening of palates made the way for sushi to make its mark.

 

From the 1970's to the 1980's, areas of sushi consumption such as Los Angeles and New York saw the number of Japanese restaurants increase by as much as a factor of ten. Nationwide, in the 1990's to 2000's, this number increased 400 percent.

 

Raw fish was not the norm of the America diet, and appropriately was considered strange and exotic. However, increasing attention to health and diet as well the connotation of higher class food allowed sushi to draw a certain appeal. This paired with other avenues of cultural imports, period films from renowned artists like Kurosawa and the popular Shogun miniseries marked keen interest towards Japan. Within America's informal empire, Japan was a close partner. Cooperation and economic growth made the former wartime adversary into a respected global power.

Japanese aesthetics too were see as high class, refined, and cleanly designed, which only added to the sense of upscale participation in foreign cultures. Food writers and critiques could draw upon cliched imagery of the imagined premodern Japan to paint the exotic and foreign factors of sushi’s ingredients, preparation, and presentation. For example, Phyllis Richman wrote,

“sushi are highly developed examples of the art of simplicity, of such beauty that it can be appreciated even in the abstract."

and

“You feel neither stuffed nor hungry. And definitely serene.”

Reviewers of Washington's premier Samurai Sushiko restaurant saw comments like:

“an occasion of purity and subtlety, of contrasting sharpness and intensity, almost a ceremony”

and

“like eating in the middle of a Japanese brush painting” or “a small museum of Japanese arts.”

Another Post writer likened sushi as:

“an edible ikebana. A haiku in seaweed and translucent flesh.”

Karen Kenyon wrote on the San Diego restaurant Samurai:

“Walking into Samurai is like walking into a Zen poem... the feeling of harmony [that] exists in the balance of the Samurai warrior figure and the Japanese Geisha doll who stand and wait on opposite sides of the entry.”

Philadelphia food writer Elaine Tait described her meal at a Japanese restaurant as:

“serenely beautiful as a placid, lily-covered pond.”

All this romanticized imagery of the sushi experience tantilized the middle and upper class Americans. Etiquette to had to be followed as much as one might do in a proper French or Italian restaurant. Manuals described the proper ways of eating sushi. Jeffrey Carmel of the Christian Science Monitor in 1983 wrote:

“Before venturing into a sushi restaurant, it is a good idea to learn some sushi etiquette to avoid embarrassing yourself with soy-sauce-soaked rice balls disintegrating in your fingers and fish falling all over the place.”

Post critic Melissa Davis wrote of her experience"

“The Japanese think it is very funny if you try to bite sushi in half. It is rather like watching someone attack a Big Mac with a knife and fork. Not exactly gauche or rude, but amusingly ignorant. The first time I had sushi, the owner of the restaurant rushed frantically towards me and in sign language showed me how I was doing it all wrong.”

Diners could avoid such scenarios and show off their cultural capital and knowledge by "properly" eating sushi, dipping the sushi in a shallow dish of soy sauce, fish side down, and placing the whole morsel in their mouths.

Japanese food that was known to Americans prior to the explosion of sushi would have been cooked foods, such as teriyaki, tempura, sukiyaki, and the like. By understanding Japanese cuisine as grilled, broiled, boiled, or fried beef, chicken, and seafood, Japanese food was more relatable for the average American. Cookbooks thus omitted mentions of raw fish or sushi. Sushi then stood out and became prominent because it was so unlike any other food. It was raw, colorful, and embodied some premium aesthetic not found in most foods.

Eating sushi became a way to distinguish oneself, to let others see and know your education, economic standing, and openness to new ideas and cultures. In other words, you might be considered a sophisticated individual for daring to eat raw fish, at least, that's what many would have wanted to have been thought as. Poking fun at the consumerist class, The Yuppie Handbook listed sashimi among its “Things Yuppies Eat for Lunch.” Food Historian Lisa Heldke said:

“By sampling a cuisine none of your friends has tasted, you accumulate a bit of sophistication that you can bank, and invest later in a social situation in which it is important to raise your stature.”

To return to The Breakfast Club, Andrew C. McKevitt writes:

Like the other Japanese goods in this book, by the 1980s sushi not only had established a noticeable material presence across the United States but also had entered the American popular imagination. John Hughes’s iconic 1980s teen drama The Breakfast Club used sushi to highlight class distinctions among its detention-bound students. The snobbish wealthy girl explains to the troublemaking boy that she’s eating sushi—“rice, raw fish, and seaweed”— and the working-class delinquent responds churlishly, “You won’t accept a guy’s tongue in your mouth, and you’re going to eat that?” Hughes used the scene to demonstrate the expanding global cosmopolitanism of wealthy Americans, even to poke fun at the quickness with which the upper class adopts chic cultural fads, and to contrast it with the provincial sensibilities of working-class Americans.

All this points to illustrate the position of sushi in the 1970's and 80's, a high class exotic food that captured the imagination and romanization of the foreign and fanciful Japan. Sushi marked your class, both in the sense of sophistication and the socio-economic position. Since then however, sushi has steadily climbed down the ladder of social hierarchy. More restaurants, competition, and the creation of American sushi such as sushi burritos, california rolls, tempura sushi, and other curious items has pushed sushi into a more everyday sort of meal. While high class sashimi and omakase restaurants still exist, one can find a package of sushi even at convenience stores and supermarkets. Interestingly enough, Japanese officials have become "horrified with the liberties taken with their food overseas", so much that the Ministry of Agriculture, Forestry, and Fisheries created a “Japanese Restaurant Authentication Plan” for the 50,000 some sushi restaurants around the world. Agricultural minister Toshikatsu Matsuoka said:

"What we are seeing now are restaurants that pretend to offer Japanese cooking but are really Korean, Chinese or Filipino,” adding, with no intended irony, “We must protect our food culture.”

Indeed, most sushi and Japanese restaurants in the United States are not owned or staffed by Japanese, but instead of other Asians/Asian Americans. While the authentication program was abandoned over poor media coverage, it shows the changes in sushi landscape from the initial exotic luxury connotations of 70's and 80's to popular global staples of our present day. Much much more can be said about both sushi history and how it symbolizes and reflects the interactions of culture and Asian identity, but for now this should answer the question about the scene in The Breakfast Club.

 

5.u/Erur-Dan perfectly captures the clientele and atmosphere of Outback Steakhouse

Upvotes: 4,5k

Картинки по запросу "outback steakhouse"

Applebee's and Chili's are the restaurants of sadness and apathy. The emotion of Outback is rage.

You're a 53 year old father of two working in commercial truck leasing. You've been working your ass off to repay the vacation money you took from the college fund, and you've been neglecting the wife. You want to give her a nice meal. She likes that guy from animal planet what got shish-kabobed by a stingray, so why not outback? You've been everywhere else in the last few years.

 

She wants to spend eight American dollars on an onion, and you let her because the fucking point of the night is to make her happy, but you can't fucking stand it. The cheapest fucking vegetable in the world and she thinks it's god damn special.

 

You both get steak. Your first bite tastes fine, but you keep chewing. You again continue chewing. You're genuinely confused by the amount of gristle still in your mouth. What few grains of beef that manage to slip out are more an insult than a reward. What the fuck are you supposed to do with the fucking gristle? You fake a cough and drop the wad of gristle on the ground so the wife doesn't complain about it being on your plate. That's when you see. She's staring at you. She doesn't know what to do with her own gristle, and she's noticed you somehow don't have gristle. Whatever she decides you did, you know you're not getting your blow job this month.

 

The smug prick of a waiter offers you desert. It's probably some dumbass name like Kangaroo cheesecake, but you don't hear a word of it. The wife orders one for each of you. You drive home. She thanks you for taking her out. She goes to bed. You get a beer and turn on Fox News. You hear her softly crying, and you're just too fucking tired to care anymore. Maybe she'll fuck that guy from church again and get a little happiness in her life. All you know for sure is that Outback steakhouse should be burned to the ground.

 

6.u/The_Lonely_Satirist guts the arguments of The Right regarding the Capitol Insurrection

Upvotes: 4,1k

Картинки по запросу "capitol incorection"

I am tired of the bad faith arguments, the false equivalencies, the utter denial and deflection tactics, the double standards, the radicalization, the vague generalizations and stigmatizing, and the incapability of the conservative party, nay the just plain refusal of them to see the forest through the trees.

Right now, conservatives are parroting the talking point, "but but but BLM! ANTIFA! THE LEFT! THEY INCITED RIOTS OVER THE SUMMER!" or they are hedging their bets on the basis of some interpretation of Trump's speech on January 6th.

This isn't just about one speech.

 

Putting aside the fact that the talking point that attempts to shift blame towards democrats in some sort of justification for what occurred on January 6th basically amounts to "two wrongs make a right" (it doesn't), let's put an end to this altogether. The infinitesimally small percentage of riots that occurred over the summer relative to the protests did not hinge on the words of any political leader, any democrat, any fucking tweet or speech. Those riots occurred at the hands of criminals who had no political motivation what so ever, they weren't checking their fucking smart phones for the latest social media blast from Kamala Harris or Joe Biden, or Bernie Sanders, or AOC or Barack Obama, they acted purely out of their own self interests to vandalize, loot, and commit acts of violence. That is the truth. They did not brandish their Biden flags or their liberal banners that wrapped around their necks and were worn like capes. They did not sport their democrat garb or proclaim to represent one party or another. These were apolitical criminals. Plain and simple.

 

Now let's take a look at January 6th. The storming on the capitol was perpetrated by those representing president Trump, those who listened to him spout baseless lies and conspiracy theories, those that hung on his every word via Trump's twitter rants, his rallies, his speeches and Fox News interviews. They waved their Trump flags, carried their Trump banners and chanted his fucking name. take Trump out of the equation, take away his hateful divisive rhetoric, take away his fearmongering propaganda, take away his lies for the past four years, for the months leading up to the election and the months thereafter and you have NO ATTACK ON THE CAPITOL ON JANUARY 6th. This is the part where we see the forest through the trees. It's objectively clear why they were there, why they did what they did. Without Trump and his rhetoric the storming of the capitol never happens. Without some cherry picked comments taken out of context from democrats like Nancy Pelosi, Kamala Harris and company, the riots over the summer still happen. PERIOD.

 

This is so painfully obvious. It's why ashamed conservatives like Rand Paul and Josh Hawley, the cowards they are refused to watch the video in the senate that showed Trump supporters breaking into the capitol, in Trump's name, chanting "hang Mike Pence", shouting "we're listening to TRUMP", beating officers with an American flag, telling eachother to "take their gun and shoot them with it", treasonously taking over the house floor, mobbing the halls of the capitol, vandalizing, smearing their shit on the walls, calling out for democrats, ready at all costs to give any congressmen a thrashing or far far worse. Ready to "drag them out by their necks" and execute them, hang them from an erected gallows. Trump's role he played in January 6th is clear, it's clear to Republicans in the senate who shamefully turn away and will later attempt to justify it, but yet here we are, receiving false equivalencies, bad faith arguments, and whataboutisms from those that would seek to completely deny accountability. Blaming democrats through sweeping generalizations for something they are in no way responsible for and denying Trump's culpability for the attacks on the capitol. Denying the fact that many of Trump's supporters were indeed lied to, manipulated, exploited and brainwashed by a consistent barrage of lies, conspiracies, fearmongering propaganda and misinformation for not just months, but YEARS, and it led to a culture and a movement of vitriol, polarization, hate, violence, extremism, conspiracies, victimhood, denial, but more importantly, it led to the storming of the capitol.

 

7.u/jb3108 explains why law firms (and other professional services) inevitably drive their staff to overwork and burnout - the billable hour.

Upvotes: 3,1k

Картинки по запросу "law firm"

I was about to rant about the fact that these days the AFR is at best churning out contentless clickbait and at worst acting as a shill for abusive employers and their shit cunt practices but instead I'll write what Mr Barolsky should have. Keep in mind I'm writing this from the perspective of a jaded, but (somehow) not burnt out, corporate lawyer.

 

To understand why the legal profession is so hard on its members you have to understand the business of law. Law firms, like most professional services firms, are pyramid schemes. Lawyers sell their time at an hourly rate. Sometimes those hourly rates are very high but regardless of the rate, time does not scale as a commodity and it never will. There are 24 hours in a day, and every one of those 24 hours you spend working is one hour less that you get to spend, ya know, living.

 

So, if you're a seasoned lawyer who sells his time at $1000/hr, how do you increase the profitability of your practice? Your hourly rate is already as high as the market for your services will allow and you can't sustainably bill more than 10 hours a day. Some lawyers in less regulated jurisdictions have come up with creative ways to bill for the value they bring to their clients that breaks away from the billable hours model, but for most the only way to increase the profitability of their practice without cutting out essential activities like sleeping, shitting and sacrificing goats at midnight is to profit from other lawyers selling their time.

 

That brings us to the concept of the "fee earner". You know that scene in the Matrix where Morpheus explains what humans are by reference to a Duracell battery? That's what a fee earner is, except rather than harvesting energy from humans for the consumption of machines, law firms harvest billable hours from their fee earners and sell them for cash.

 

Your time on this earth is the only commodity that your firm sells. More than that, it is the only commodity it can sell. This all sounds simple but there's a big catch in that there are only 4 ways a law firm can increase its profit margins: (1) increase hourly rates, (2) reduce the amount fee earners are paid, (3) reduce overheads (i.e. take resources away from your fee earners and make them do more with less) or (4) increase the number of hours per day that fee earners bill. If we assume firms will generally charge the highest hourly rate the market will allow (and they do), every means of maximising profitability available to a law firm is counteractive to the interests of its employees.

 

Where businesses in other industries have significant opportunity to increase their profitability without diminishing the working conditions of their employees (for example, through technological innovation, IP development, capital gains or supply chain optimisation), law firms maximise their profit by maximising the amount of hours per day that each fee earner bills and minimising overheads.

 

A law firm reaches optimal profitability when every fee earner is billing 24 hours per day, 7 days per week. Of course, that is impossible but from a balance sheet perspective every hour per day that a fee earner is not billing is wasted. In other words, it is in a law firm's commercial interests for you to be overworked, underpaid and under-resourced, and that is an inescapable feature of the billable hour.

I'm not saying the problem is unique to law, plenty of companies in other industries abuse their staff, but in law firms fee earners are both staff and product. I can think of no other profession where commercial interests are so diametrically opposed to health and wellbeing.

 

A car manufacturer can increase its profit per product by using cheaper materials, automating more of the production line or improving its processes to reduce wasted resources. Those things all have consequences, but the car doesn't have sentient thoughts, feelings and a biologically limited number of days on this planet.

 

The billable hour is problematic not only because it's antiquated and doesn't properly measure the value of services provided, but also because as an economic model it positions human wellbeing antithetically to the profit motive.

Anyway, that's my rant, I will forward my bill for the 8 units I spent writing it later cunts.

Edit: I should clear up some misconceptions since this was written for Australian lawyers and it seems we have plenty of blow-ins here.

 

First, billable hours and timesheets are obviously not unique to law but there are several features unique to the billable hour for lawyers (and probably for accountants working on time-based billing as well) which are not true for, say, management consultants. In management consulting you're usually delivering a product or project for a fixed or variable price, and timesheets are mostly used internally to track time spent on a given project. The product you are selling to the client, though, is not the billable hour itself.

Second, inaccurate or fraudulent billing is one of the leading causes of lawyers being sanctioned or struck off (or disbarred, as our yank mates would say). It's not so common with corporate clients but in practice areas where most clients are individuals paying the bill out of their own pocket, you can bet they'll scrutinise every bill closely.

 

Third, yes, doctors have patients and there might be a financial incentive to see more patients in a day to increase profit margin but patients are corporeal. They will not come to see you at 1am (unless you're an emergency doctor, in which case you're not paid per patient anyway). It's apples and oranges.

 

Finally, law firm partners/management squeezing their associates for billable hours are not necessarily doing anything other than attempting to maximise the profitability of their business. At least on a macro level, it's not that they hate their associates and want to grind them into dust (although, in some cases they might). All business should try to increase their profits, that's how a market economy works but, at least in Australia, law firms attempting to transact in any medium other than billable hours often face heavy resistance from regulators and clients.

 

8.u/kaenneth explains why in Japanese having two commentators is preferred more than one.

Upvotes: 3,1k

Картинки по запросу "japanese commentors"

The way it was explained to me decades ago is that Japanese is more of a 'dialog' language, because the form of speech varies depending on your relationship with the person you are talking to, it works better with having two known people go back and forth than having the the speaker addressing the camera, using the wrong form of speech.

 

I learned this working on software localization, where we had to scrub a product of every place where it said 'you' like "You click the Start button to open the menu." because addressing the user was difficult to translate.

 

That's why they talk to each other instead of the audience.

Again, that's how it was explained to me by someone knowledgeable, so I don't have a citation, maybe someone else has a better explanation.

 

9.u/stevenjackson121 explains how developers can handle people who want to develop an app with you.

Upvotes: 3,1k

Картинки по запросу "develope app"

I had so many of those in college. I enjoyed them actually and classmates would happily refer anyone who asked them to me, instead of shooting down their friends personally. Conversations usually went like this:

 

"I have a great idea, I just need you to develop it. "

"Great! Development is what I'm good at, if you're good at everything else we'll make a good team. So what's the basic idea?"

"It will be like XXX but for YYY"

"That sounds like it could be a viable idea. Are you sure no one has done that?"

"Of course, its my own original total great idea"

"I think the basic idea is solid, but can you explain what differentiates your product from AAA?"

"Whats AAA?"

"AAA claims to be XXX but for YYY. You said your idea is original and no one has done it, so I know it must be different. Can you explain the difference?"

"Uh well AAA looks like it only has an Android App, we'll do Android and iOS"

"They list iOS as 'coming soon', and have a fully functional app on one platform already along with assets and presumably a backend which will be reusable for the iOS version, and since they have an existing user base and we don't, a tie in time to market basically means they win. If your only differentiator is being available on more platforms sooner, you must be ready to make a large capital investment to try to beat them there. I believe in you and will work as development lead for only stock options, but we honestly need a team to catch up. With 5 experienced developers @100k per year $500k should get the development team through the first year. I'll let you worry about the details on the marketing and design side, but going against an established product probably means similar investments there too. How quickly can you get $1,000,000 together so we can get started?"

"... Actually i had another idea that I think might be even better..."

"Awesome, whats the basic idea?"

<repeat until they give up and go away>

 

10.u/CCtenor breaks down the levels on which sexist comments work

Upvotes: 3,2k

Картинки по запросу "sexist comments"

It’s funny to speculate, but it wouldn’t work. Men and women face different struggles, so the jokes that are derogatory towards women would probably be a lot of men’s dream.

 

“Go chop some lumber. Go fix my car. Get back in the wood shop and make me some furniture”.

I can personally say “absolutely, the fuck, yes”. I’d leap at the opportunity to not have to do office work so I could instead be “forced” to use my time woodworking and machining. Don’t get me wrong, I like my work just fine, but I’m much more engaged with directly creative tasks than I am office work. Hell, my response to “get back in the kitchen” would be “don’t threaten me with a good time”. One of the reasons I’m happy with my job is that, when I can finally move out, it should let me keep a fully stocked pantry, and a kitchen with quality tools, so I can make my own food on my own terms. I love the process of cooking, and if somebody told me I was too stupid to do office work and belonged in the kitchen, then decided to completely subsidize my lifestyle so all I had to do was cook, well

Never interrupt your enemy while he’s making a mistake

This post focuses on the insult itself as a direct way of denigrating people, not what the insult means. Being condemned to the kitchen is offensive to women because they struggle to be take seriously in the work place. Women are more than dishwashers and homemakers.

 

However, many men are condemned for showing emotion and following more creative pursuits. If you told a guy to “go home and fucking knit, you’re not meant to do office work”, and that guy loved knitting, you’d probably actually be validating his desires.

 

So, directly flipping this insult on it’s head doesn’t work because it misses the point. Condemning women to the kitchen to make a sandwich is demeaning because it invalidates women and their desire to be seen as equal people. Condemning a man to the garage or lumberyard would, for many guys, be welcome permission to likely do many things we already like to do.

You want to properly flip this insult around?

 

“Stop messing with your kids and go back to the office. You’re not supposed to care for kids, you’re supposed to bring home the bread. You’re not emotionally capable of properly interacting with, and raising, children.”

EDIT: well, shit, I didn’t think I’d be able to do this good a job at explaining myself. I’m glad people are finding this helpful.

 

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50-tips-to-help-raise-good-kids-tips-1-to-18-years-old

50 parenting tips for raising good kids that most moms and dads will need. And what I would like to note separately, according to these life tips, first of all, parents should be strict with themselves, teach themselves to be disciplined, sensitive and kind ... because there is no better example for children than their own example.

 

Parenting Tricks Most Moms and Dads Will Use

 

 

1. Make sure children are vaccinated

Vaccines have long been safe and can protect your child from some deadly diseases.

 

2. Praise your children for kindness

It's nice to praise a child for something good they've done. Be generous with rewards - your parental love, hugs and compliments can work wonders and are often reward enough for your child.

 

3. Learn to apologize

Parents can do the wrong thing too. Don't be afraid to admit your fault and apologize. This will teach your child to be honest.

 

4. Pay attention to your own well-being

Stressed parents are more likely to fight. Find time for yourself to relax.

 

5. Show your affection

Let your children know that you love and appreciate them.

 

6. Raise Responsibility in Your Child

Give your child small responsibilities and let him feel like part of a family with important responsibilities.

 

7. Insist on your child riding a bike with a helmet

Make sure your child's head is protected when they ride a bike, scooter, skate, snowboard, etc.

 

8. Show that your love is unconditional.

Make sure that even if you are strict with your children, you still love them.

 

 

9. Stop screaming

Yelling only makes your child feel uncomfortable and anxious.

 

10. Have dinner with the whole family

This will bring your family closer and help your child form stronger social bonds in the future.

 

11. Read to your child

This will bond the two of you and encourage you to start reading your child's books when they are older.

 

12. Boost Your Child's Self-Esteem

Choose your words carefully because they can affect your child's self-esteem. Let your child know that it is okay to make mistakes and that everyone is imperfect. Don't compare him to others and try to cheer him up when he needs it.

 

13. Be a good role model

Be aware of what you are doing (and what it looks like from the outside) because your children learn to act by watching you. So if you want your child to have good habits, you should probably have them too.

 

14. Remember your own childhood

By reflecting on our childhood, we can understand why we act in certain ways. Take notes and try to analyze your actions.

 

15. Don't spank no matter what

Spanking will not teach your child what is right and what is wrong, it will only make him fear you and create childhood trauma.

 

16. Develop patience

Enjoy the moment, take your time. Sometimes you just need to go with the flow.

 

 

17. Learn CPR

You never know what can save a life, so you need to be prepared. But we hope these skills will never come in handy...

 

18. Be a "safe haven" for your child.

Let your child know that you are there for him. Be their safe place where they can be vulnerable without being afraid of anything.

 

19. Create healthy habits-rituals

Do something with the whole family, try to make it your little tradition. This will help you get to know each other better.

 

20. Let go of guilt

You do your best, don't be hard on yourself.

 

21. Seek support

Don't be ashamed to ask for help. There are many parents around, and you can always ask the more experienced parents for advice.

 

22. Let the kids play

This will develop your child's imagination and critical thinking.

 

23. Make communication a priority

Children deserve an explanation. Make sure they understand the values; if they did something wrong, explain why it is bad.

 

24. Use the latest research in psychology and neuroscience to raise children

You can use scientific research to find more answers to your parenting questions. Try parenting techniques and see what works for you and what doesn't.

 

25. Make Honesty a Priority

Do not lie to your child, teach him to be honest and appreciate when he is honest.

 

 

26. Calm your night terrors (with a nightlight)

Use a night light to make the dark less intimidating and help your child fall asleep faster.

 

27. Tame the Tantrum

Learn to distract the child, sing him a song or turn his attention to his favorite toy, thing, and so on.

 

28. Don't reward with food

This can create a bad relationship with food and bad eating habits and eating habits.

 

29. Be firm within the limits you set!

Create reasonable limits and boundaries that cannot be violated.

 

30. Take lots and lots of photos

Time flies by so don't forget to take plenty of photos. They don't have to be perfect...

 

31. Trust your intuition

Trust your instincts, you know what is good for your child and what is not.

 

32. React fast!

Try to respond to what your child did right away so that he understands what went wrong and learns the lesson.

 

33. Make handwashing a habit

This is the best way to avoid germs.

 

34. Don't smoke!

Try not to smoke in the presence of a child, this is not only not good for his health, but can later develop into an addiction due to the negative example that you give him.

 

35. Keep a medical history

Write down everything about your child's illnesses, vaccinations, allergies, chronic illnesses, and medications. Or keep the child's medical record, including after he turns 18. Useful for life!

 

 

36. Be active

This will cheer up the child, and you will have fun.

 

37. Take care of your baby's skin

Apply sunscreen to your child when visiting the beaches or when in the sun for long periods of time.

 

38. Choose the best kindergarten

Look for a good kindergarten, with friendly teachers, so that the first experience is not traumatic.

 

39. Find joy in family affairs

Let yourself enjoy parenthood.

 

40. Practice kind and firm positive parenting

Try positive family interactions with your children to help them form a positive experience.

 

41. Be the best

You are the best person in the world for your child. In addition, you are an influential figure for him/her.

 

42. Set clear rules about why you shouldn't push, hit, lie, and why you should share and be kind to others

Make sure your child knows the basic rules of how to live in society, not overstep anyone's boundaries, and respect others.

 

 

43. Never neglect when it comes to using a car seat.

Why this is so important, read here:

 

 

44. Know These Fever Facts

Call your doctor right away if your child under 3 months of age has a temperature of 38 degrees C or higher.

Call 911 if children aged 3 to 6 months have a temperature of 38.5°C or higher.

Also call if a child under 2 has a high fever that lasts more than 12 hours.

 

45. Save money for college or university education

This is a good investment in your child's future.

 

46. ​​Take a vacation and spend it with your child

Memories will stay forever. It doesn't have to be a big trip, the most important thing is the environment and the fact that you are all together.

 

 

47. From the heart with your own hands

Make a special decoration for your children for every New Year.

 

48. Don't Ignore Your Cough

This may be a sign of asthma or another illness in the child.

 

49. Make time for your children

Find a few minutes for the child, it can be a short walk before bedtime or a joint breakfast. Your child will appreciate this and it will help you create a special bond between you.

 

50. Be flexible and willing to change your parenting style

Parents often have unrealistic expectations. Children's environment influences their behavior, so you can change this behavior by changing the environment. And don't forget to change your parenting style as your child gets older.

 

 

 

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52-quotes-about-kids-that-tell-more-than-parenting-books

They say that the best sound in the world is a child's laughter, and many parents are sure to agree with this. Public figures, artists and many other famous personalities will once again remind you how special children are and that their opinions and feelings should be treated the same as the opinions and feelings of adults.

 

For inspiration: sayings about children and childhood

 

There are many quotes about children that constantly remind us of this. We have collected only a small part of the wise sayings about children and childhood.

 

Do you have a favorite quote about children that inspired your parenting style or helped you better understand child psychology? Please share with us in the comments below.

 

 

1. "Children see magic because they're looking for it." — Christopher Moore

 

2. “If you want your children to be smart, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be smarter, read them more fairy tales." - Albert Einstein

 

3. "The best thing to spend on children is your time." — Louise Hart

 

4. "A child can ask a thousand questions that even the wisest person cannot answer." — Jacob Abbott2. “If you want your children to be smart, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be smarter, read them more fairy tales." - Albert Einstein

 

5. “Teach your children not only to read. Also teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything." — George Carlin

 

6. "Anyone who does something to help a child is a hero to me." — Fred Rogers

 

7. "Make it a rule never to give a child a book that you yourself would not read." — George Bernard Shaw

 

8. “Teach your children that they are unique. That way they won't feel obligated to be like everyone else." — Cindy Cashman

 

 

9. “Sometimes the smallest things take up the most space in your heart.” — Alan Alexander Milne

 

10. “If you are a parent, open your child's doors to unfamiliar directions so they can explore. Don't be afraid of the unknown, support it." — Rajneesh

 

11. "Adults are just retarded kids." — Dr. Seuss

 

12. “Children have never been good at listening to their elders, but they never stopped imitating them.” — James Baldwin

 

13. “Adults follow the path. Children are exploring. — Neil Gaiman

 

14. "Give kids toys that are powered by their imagination, not batteries." — H. Jackson Brown

 

15. “A child is not a vase to be filled, but a fire to be lit.” — Francois Rabelais

 

16. "Only children believe they can do anything." - Paulo Coelho

 

17. "Children are the only courageous philosophers." — Evgeny Zamyatin

 

 

18. “Listen to the wishes of your children. Encourage them and then empower them to make their own decisions.” — Denis Waitley

 

19. “The only love I really believe in is a mother’s love for her children.” — Karl Leijerfeld

 

20. "A man is a man, no matter how small he may be." — Dr. Seuss

 

21. “Children need to be taught how to think, not what to think.” — Margaret Meade

 

22. “Only where children gather is there a real chance to have fun.” — Minion McLaughlin

 

23. “Virtually everything that honest truths say in the world is done by children.” — Oliver Wendell Holmes

 

24. “The game is often spoken of as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children, play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood.” — Fred Rogers

 

25. "Always kiss your kids goodnight, even if they're already asleep." — H. Jackson Brown

 

26. “Children are not coloring books. You can't fill them with your favorite colors." — Khaled Hosseini

 

27. "All little girls need to be told they're pretty, even if they're not." - Marilyn Monroe

 

28. “Kids deserve the right to think they can change the world.” — Lois Lowry

 

 

29. “Children are mirrors, they reflect back to us everything we say and do.” — Pam Leo

 

30. "Parents can only give good advice or direct them on the right path, but the final formation of a person's character is in their own hands." — Anne Frank

 

31. “Even if people are still very young, they should not be prevented from saying what they think.” — Anne Frank

 

32. "To every child - I dream of a world where you can laugh, dance, sing, learn, live in peace and be happy." — Malala Yousafzai

 

33. “The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.” — Peggy O'Mara

 

34. "The Creator in you is a child set free." — Vince Goumon

 

35. “What is a home without children? Quiet". — Henry Youngman

 

36. "The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of a child into old age." — Aldous Huxley

 

37. “Watch what you say and do because little eyes are watching you.” — Reba McIntyre

 

38. “Children make you want to start life over.” — Muhammad Ali

 

 

39. “If you can only give your child one gift, let it be enthusiasm.” — Bruce Barton

 

40. “Children's games can hardly be called games. Children are never more serious than when they are playing." — Michel de Montaigne

 

41. “Every year you are a child, you become a different person.” — Alice Munro

 

42. "There is no light brighter than a child's smile." — Ian Semple

 

43. “You can learn a lot from children. Like how much patience you have. — Franklin P. Jones

 

44. “The best way to make children good is to make them happy.” — Oscar Wilde

 

45. “Don't worry about the kids never listening to you; worry that they are always watching you.” — Robert Fulgum

 

46. ​​“I continue to believe that if kids are given the right tools to succeed, they will surpass their wildest dreams!” — David Witter

 

47. "Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed." — Maria Montessori

 

48. “The real magic wand is the child’s own mind.” — Jose Ortega y Gasset

 

 

49. “Play gives children the opportunity to practice what they are learning.” — Mister Rogers

 

50. “Today our children are our reflection. Tomorrow they will be our shadows." — Marali McKee

 

51. "Children reinvent your world for you." — Susan Sarandon

 

52. “Kids need models, not critics.” — Joseph Joubert

 

 

 

 

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top-30-most-asked-questions-with-answers-on-askreddit-subgroup

Each of us asks ourselves questions, but not infrequently the answers are left to wait or do not come at all. Interestingly, you can find a way to get an answer. You will find a lot of topics discussed on Reddit that will help you get answers to the questions you ask. Moreover, Bemorepanda collected the top questions on Reddit. This way you can see the best answers to these questions. Let's see who they are.


1.Almost 80% of the ocean hasn’t been discovered. What are you most likely to find there?


2.If your vision had a HUD like in video games, what information would you like to be displayed?


3.What are some positive things happening in the world right now?


4.What are some dark secrets about the corn industry?


5.What was your biggest/most regrettable "It's not a phase, mom. It's my life." that, in fact, turned out to be just a phase and not your life?


6.What positive changes have you made in your life that you’d like to brag on a bit? What’s that work you’ve been putting in?


7.What gets you out of bed in the morning?


8.What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard someone say?


9.What’s the weirdest thing society accepts as normal?


10.What was your worst job interview?


11.What never fails to make your blood boil?


12.Brass instrument manufacturers, what are the dark secrets of the horn industry?


13.If you could show 1 movie from 2020 to a 1960s audience what would it be?


14.What dish that you cook are you most proud of?


15.What are some false stereotypes about your country?


16.Would you say you "won" or "lost" the genetic lottery, and in what way?


17.What popular movie have you never seen?


18.What family secret was finally spilled in your family?


19.What is your go-to fun fact?


20.Time and everything around you just froze for 24 hours. What are your plans?


21.What movie gets a lot of hate, but you actually love it?


22.Yesterday a woman gave birth to 9 babies what would you do if you became a parent to 9 babies at once?


23.What advice would you like to give a 20 year old who has no friends and barely anyone talks to him on social media?


24.People who still talk to their terrible moms, what's this year's obligatory Mother's Day gift going to be?


25.What's a good reason for aliens to care about us?


26.What are some things that are really expensive, yet shouldn't be?


27.Similarly to disappearing socks and nerf darts, what are some really annoying mysteries?


28.What's the dumbest thing you used to believe?


29.Which is the most underrated book you ever read?


30.If everyone got to see "life stats" after they died, what would be the first thing you would check?



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15-phrases-from-psychologists-that-will-teach-you-how-to-say-no-to-your-child

We often have to tell our children “no”, “no”, “stop”, “come on”, etc. And sometimes we do not limit ourselves to just a polite request and sometimes even raise our voice at our child. Moreover, we often pronounce many words of refusal on the machine, which is not good, and this can negatively affect the still unformed child's psyche. Family and child psychologists told how we incorrectly say “no” to our children or forbid something.


Our children and the "no"? - How to say…


We at Bemorepanda, listening to the advice of psychologists, figured out which phrases are better not to say to your colors of life and what is better to replace them.


How to make prohibitions for a child, Or how to refuse a child without negative consequences

15 phrases from psychologists that will teach you how to say “no” to your child

There are many situations in which it is necessary to stop the child as soon as possible. And nothing but “no” or “no” comes to mind at this moment. However, there are many tricks and tricks that will help protect the baby by competently forbidding him something and maintaining a trusting relationship with his parents, as well as his psycho-emotional state.


For example, there is a situation when the youngest child appears in the family. The elders at this moment cannot restrain their emotion and begin to pinch and squeeze the children, sometimes not controlling the power of their love and hurting the baby. At this moment, you can just come up and say: “More gentle”, “Careful”, “Careful”. So the child will understand what exactly he is doing wrong and that he is still an equal and beloved member of the family.


Another important point is to maintain a calm and friendly intonation. You also always need to argue your ban and offer children an alternative. After all, it is always better for children to give clear instructions for action. A strict ban is often perceived as a challenge, and curiosity and a desire to go against the grain arise.


“No one wants to hear a permanent “no” addressed to them. This can seem harsh and lead to a breakdown in relationships, ”said Jasmine McCoy, a famous mom-psychologist.


Using the right words and structures is also important as the child's brain is actively developing and overcoming difficulties. The words of the parent often become the inner voice of the child, which is of great importance for him. And if you want to raise a compassionate person who can solve problems, you need to think about your actions now. So say experts Christine Gallant and Dina Margolin.


Need to communicate desired behaviour

15 phrases from psychologists that will teach you how to say “no” to your child

There are emergency situations in which the child needs to be stopped quickly and abruptly. But a categorical “no” will confuse the baby, as he will not understand what exactly they want from him. In the same situation with the younger child and cheeks, it was important to convey to the child that parents demand that he be more sensitive, accurate and gentle, and do not want to forbid him to interact with the younger child.


It is always good to pause and think carefully about what is required of the child. And only after that you need to inform the baby about your options, which will increase the chance of being heard.


You can ask yourself the question: “What can I do to make the child act differently? How can I express myself as clearly as possible? For example, if the baby makes a lot of noise and runs around, you can tell him that now parents want more silence. Then you can invite the child to change the type of activity, play in a different place, or switch from running to walking, giving the child a choice and justifying his position.


This is not easy to get used to, especially when you need to stop the baby, for example in a museum or library. However, when it comes to automatism, success will be guaranteed.


It is important to be prepared for failures - children do not always immediately change their behavior, time and experience are also needed here.


Here are a few more phrases that will help correct the behaviour of the child:


  • "Please use a calmer tone" instead of "Stop yelling!"
  • “It's hard to understand you when you scream. Try to express your thoughts in a calm tone.
  • "Splash the other way" instead of "Stop splashing!"
  • "Try not to splatter the bathroom floor."
  • "Please chew with your mouth closed."
  • "Be careful with toys."
  • "Slow down the pace."
  • "Play with plasticine on the table."
  • “Chairs are only for sitting. Don't stand on them, please."
  • “The sand must be in the bucket. It doesn't need to be thrown away."
  • “You can't throw away food. It must be eaten or left on the table.”
  • “They eat at the table. If you want to play, get up from the table."
  • "Take my hand or stay in the cart" instead of "Don't run!"
  • “Our bodies are not meant to hurt. Please be careful with your sister."
  • “You can play on the tablet only after eating. Put it on the table, please."


Limited choice

15 phrases from psychologists that will teach you how to say “no” to your child

Many parents worry about giving their child the freedom to choose. Excitement is caused by the fact that the child can go to extremes. Therefore, a small restriction here will be beneficial. Instead of a complete independent choice, you can offer the child two or three alternatives. This will keep him from feeling overwhelmed.


It is important to consider the wishes and feelings of the child when offering alternatives. Children constantly ask for something, and frequent refusals tire both the child and the parent. You can soften the blow by letting the baby know that the parent hears his wishes, and when the time is right, you can offer an alternative.


“It is important here not only to confirm the desire of the child, but also to explain why it cannot be fulfilled here and now,” Jasmine McCoy.


For example, instead of banning cookies, you could say, “Hmm, they look delicious. But let's eat it after the main meal."


Or: “I know you really want to go to the park. And I would like to go with you. But let's go there tomorrow. For example, after lunch. What would you like to see there?" In this way, the child will be involved in a conversation about his desire, which will help the baby feel heard, even if he is rejected.


And this example perfectly demonstrates the algorithm that Gallant and Margolin gave:


  • Agreement with feelings.
  • Holding boundaries.
  • Freedom of choice.


“I know that you are sad to part with the tablet. But the time allotted for it is over. You can play outside. For example, in a sandbox or on a swing. Where would you like to go?"

“At the same time, the reaction of the child will not always be positive, because children tend to express their disappointment or disagreement through protests and tantrums. And that's okay." - Jasmine McCoy.


In this case, you can always show sympathy without bending to the demands of the child. One must try to continue to make statements based on facts, while remaining as calm as possible even in an emergency. For example:


"Do you want to throw sand? But now it's not possible anymore, because I want your eyes to be safe. Let's continue tomorrow."

“You can’t throw food - it should be on a plate. It looks like you don't feel like eating right now. Let's go another time."


Sandwich yes-no

15 phrases from psychologists that will teach you how to say “no” to your child

“This method will help to avoid the struggle for power,” Gallant and Margolin. Instead of a categorical refusal, you can simply insert a “no” between two “yes”. For example: “Going to the park is a great idea! But now we have to go to school. Let's go to the park tomorrow."


Precise instructions instead of questions

15 phrases from psychologists that will teach you how to say “no” to your child

Adults are accustomed to expressing their requests with an interrogative intonation, using the construction "Could you ...?" This confuses the child, because sometimes he does not understand - this is a question or a call to action. It is important to direct the request accurately, while remaining calm.


Physical Contact

15 phrases from psychologists that will teach you how to say “no” to your child

Whispering in your ear can be much more effective than shouting across the room. The more active and excited the child, the calmer his parent should be. “Body language does much more than words,” McCoy.


It is important to get closer to the child, bend over and calmly explain your request, making eye contact. This is especially helpful when the child is experiencing strong emotions. And close contact will let the child know that the parent is serious.


"No" for extreme cases

15 phrases from psychologists that will teach you how to say “no” to your child

“In some situations, you have to categorically express a ban on some actions. Strict prohibition in critical situations often helps to keep the child safe. But overuse of this phrase reduces its effectiveness, so it is important to say a strict “no” only when it is really necessary, excluding him from everyday life, ”- Jasmine McCoy.


Prohibiting many things is one of the main responsibilities of a responsible parent. But the main thing is to correctly express these prohibitions and reduce possible crises to a minimum.


When using the yes-no sandwich technique, the child may think they are free to make their own decisions. But in fact, he will feel safe thanks to "clear, consistent boundaries." Using inhibitions effectively will help minimize negativity and frustration and provide an opportunity to develop more positive interactions with your child.




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