50 Funny Santa Jokes That Are Too Ho-Ho-Hilarious to ignore. Updated 2022 edition
Santa Claus is part of the children's universe, gives them confidence, security and emotional balance, and his myth, with a long and strong tradition, strengthens the family's values.
Even though his name and representations have changed over time, Santa Claus remains the most famous character associated with the great celebration of Christmas.
The myth of Santa Claus is based on a real character, Saint Nicholas, who became famous by giving gifts, giving money and generously helping the poor.
Once upon a time there was a man named Nicholas who gave food and gifts to poor or parentless children. That's why many people now dress like Santa Claus, to remember what Nicholas once did - we can explain to our children.
Important are these values, which inspire the little ones, and this is the spirit of Christmas.
While you look through the jokes, check some interesting facts collected by Bemorepanda about Santa Claus below.
1. How can Santa fight with Karate skills? Because he has a black belt.
2. How does Santa lift a frozen car? With the help of Jack Frost.
3. What do you say when Santa calls out your name for attendance? Present!
In northern culture, elves, or gnomes, once guarded man's house from evil spirits. They were loved, or hated, because although they behaved kindly, they could sometimes be bad if they were not treated properly.
In the Middle Ages, they waited for gifts rather than make them, and it was even said that they sometimes stole the gifts that Santa brought.
Only much later did the elves become friends and helpers of Santa Claus.
4. What is it called when Santa claps his hands? A Santapplause.
5. What is Santa's mother-tongue? North Polish.
6. What famous actress would Santa take up for a ride on his sleigh? Holly Hunter.
In the 16th century, St. Nicholas, the archetype of Santa Claus, a descendant of the spirits and elves who accompanied the procession of Hellequin, the savage hunter who kidnapped children and led the processions of death on winter nights, was celebrated in the Netherlands.
This Saint Nicholas, descendant of the elves, emigrated to America with the Dutch and the Nordic populations, in the 17th and 18th centuries. The Dutch are now calling Santa Claus Sinterklaas.
7. What would you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
8. Where does Santa spend his holiday? In a ho-ho-hotel.
9. Who gives the best Christmas gifts to the cats and dogs? The Santa Paws.
The American character Santa Claus is also the figure being inspired by St. Nicholas himself.
In 1823, the poem “A visit from St. Nicholas ”, written by Clement Clarke Moore, is so popular that it is learned by heart by Americans.
The little poem also inspires Thomas Nast, the cartoonist of Harper's Illustrated Weekly, who in 1881 published a drawing of Santa Claus dressed in a suit adorned with black buttons and a leather belt.
10. Who gives the best Christmas presents in the dentist's office? Santa Jaws.
11. Why did Santa put a clock on the sleigh? He wanted to see time fly.
12. Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him well.
13. Why won't Santa stay sick for long? Because he has a private elf-care.
This way of illustrating Santa has been used for decades and has been the basis for the creation of his modern image.
Also Nast, in 1885, drew two children looking at a map of the world and following Santa's reindeer-drawn sleigh ride from the North Pole to the United States. From then on, it was assumed that the good old man would live there in the far north.
14. What are Santa's reindeer wranglers called? The Jolly Ranchers.
15. What are Santa Claus' little helpers who love grammar called? Subordinate Clauses.
16. What did Mrs Claus exclaim when she saw her husband put on his suit after a wet Christmas? "Your suit has rain, dear!"
In 1931, Santa Claus received a new look through a Coca-Cola advertising campaign that wanted to expand its market to children. And so Coca-Cola red and white became Santa's colors.
Cartoonist Haddon Sundblom depicted Santa Claus dressed in a red suit with a white beard, a plump belly and a jovial air and full of gifts for good children
The illustrations created by Haddon Sundblom created the most popular representation of Santa Claus and are still used today by the soft drink company in its advertising campaigns.
17. What do elves learn in school? Elf-abets.
18. What do you call Santa with a pet cat? Santa Claws.
19. What do you call Santa with a pet frog called? Santa and Mistletoad.
The British also adopted Santa Claus in the late 19th century and called him Father Christmas.
In France, Père Noël officially arrived only at the end of World War II, although characters who resembled it had already appeared a few decades earlier. Père Noël also comes to children from Belgium, and Santa Claus to Spain and Brazil.
In Norway the old man is called Julenissen, in Finland Joulupukki, and in Sweden he is Jultomten
The Polish old man is Svaty Mikalas, and the one from Hungary is Mikulás. In Italy, Santa Claus is called Babbo Natale and has become the symbol of the confectionery industry, and in Portugal he is called Pai Natal.
For the Japanese it was called Oji-San, or Santa-san, and the Chinese call it Sheng Dan Lao Ren.
20. What is a singer elf called? A wrapper.
21. What is a reindeer's opening line before telling a joke? This joke will surely sleigh you.
22. What is the name of Santa's least favorite Reindeer? Rude-olph.
23. What would an elf who won a Santa lottery be called? A welfy.
Almost a century ago, it was discovered that there are no reindeer at the North Pole. To find Santa a new home, Markus Rautio, a children's presenter for the Finnish national radio station, said Santa lives in Finland in the Lapland town of Rovaniemi (Joulupukki in Finnish) at the foot of Mount Ureche. where there are reindeer.
In his village here, Santa works all year with his elves and here he receives the letters that children from all over the world write.
But Santa doesn't answer the selfish children who only ask for toys in letters, and if you want an answer from Santa, write to him from the heart, one of his elves urges us. Santa also receives visitors here, and children can even enter Santa's Office and tell him their wishes.
24. Where do you find reindeers? It depends on where Santa leaves them.
25. Why did Santa's little helper stand in the corner? Because he had low elf esteem.
26. Why won't Santa go to a hospital? Because he has his own elf care made out of subordinate clauses.
27. Why would Mrs Claus get mad at Santa? Because she believed her husband was a flake.
It is said that Santa Claus spends all year in Lapland with his disciples, and as Christmas approaches, he takes his presents for those who have been good and sets off around the world with his magic sleigh pulled by nine reindeer that can fly: Vixen, Blitzen, Comet, Cupid, Dancer, Dasher, Donder, Prancer and Rudolf, the most famous of them.
When he was little, Rudolf was touched by the magic of Christmas and since then his nose is bright and red.
28. How does Santa measure on the metric system? With a Santameter.
29. What do you call Santa country? A place where nationality is Santa Claus.
30. What do you call Santa on a break? Santa pause.
31. What is red, white, and falling down the chimney? A Santa Klutz.
32. What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Frosted flakes.
But how does Santa manage to get to the homes of all the children in the world in one night? Simple. A long time ago, Santa Claus and his elves discovered a special formula, which they keep secret, of the magic dust for reindeer, which makes them fly.
This magic dust spreads over each reindeer shortly before they leave Lapland on Christmas Eve, and they can fly around the world all night.
33. What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish.
34. What would Santa's favorite music be? Wrap.
35. What would Santa's favorite track and field event be? North pole-vaulting.
36. What would you call a poor Santa? Saint Nickel-less.
37. What would you get if Santa was crossed with Sherlock? Santa clues.
In Greenland there is a School of Santa Claus, whose graduates become licensed Santa Claus who help the original Santa because no matter how hard he tries, he still can't reach all the children in the world on his own.
Every year in July, in Denmark, is the World Congress of Santa Claus, where the authorized Santa Claus come from Greenland, Germany, Ireland, Norway, Italy, Japan, the Netherlands and the United States.
Santa Claus discusses here the approaching winter season, participates in a parade and has a swim in the sea, and on the last day of the Congress is designated Santa Claus of the Year, who will go to Lapland, in the village where Santa Claus lives .
38. Which singer does Santa love the most? Elf-is Presley.
39. Why can Santa Claus not enter an elevator? Because he is Claus-trophobic.
40. Why does Santa have a white beard? So that he can hide at the north pole.
No matter how busy it is during the year, every night on December 24, on Christmas Eve, Santa Claus slips through the chimney of the fireplace and leaves gifts for everyone in the boots under the decorated Christmas tree, tastes the milk and cakes left by the children and then leaves. back to cart.
But how did Santa slip on the basket? That's another story. The mystery that makes Christmas beautiful.
Merry Christmas, dear Bemorepanda friends!
Ho-Ho-Ho
41. How do you get a Christmas quacker? Cross Santa with a duck.
42. What's as big as Santa on a Christmas tree but weighs nothing? The shadow.
43. What does Santa put on his toast on Christmas? Jingle jam.
44. What do you call it if Santa stay at a beach on Christmas morning? Sandy Claus.
45. What would you say Christmas time is? A time when everyone gets Santamental.
46. What would you say if Santa was to move to the South pole on Christmas? Bi-polar.
47. Where do Christmas trees go to become movie stars? Holly-Wood.
48. Where does Father Christmas go to vote? The north poll-ing station
49. Who will bring teeth gifts during Christmas? Santa Floss.
50. What does Santa get if he eats Christmas decorations? He gets Tinsel-itis!
This day is not highlighted in red in any calendar. But in many countries, it is considered festive. It is called April Fool's Day, but everywhere on April 1, they play each other. Haven't you figured out how to play a joke on a friend yet? Go under the cut!
On April 1, 1957, the British television company BBC showed a story about an unprecedented pasta harvest in Switzerland. Allegedly, local farmers have figured out how to deal with insects that have destroyed "pasta trees." Not all viewers understood the humor - the editors were flooded with letters asking them to tell how to grow pasta at home. The employees replied that “you need to make the pasta, put it in a jar of tomato sauce, drizzle with olive oil, and hope for a great harvest.”
We have prepared a selection of more simple but no less fun April Fools' jokes for you.
Toothpaste instead of cream
Take two cookies and combine them, but not with cream, but with toothpaste. It is desirable that the paste was without a pronounced mint flavour. Otherwise, a friend will suspect something was wrong, not having time to bite off a treat.
Candy with mustard
Fill a hollow chocolate candy with mustard or hot sauce. The main thing is to preserve the integrity of the packaging so that it looks like a store.
Mistake came out
Such a draw can be arranged in the office or some cafe. A small trapezoidal piece of tape and the men's room becomes a women's room. Don't forget to film the embarrassed ladies running away. ;)
Air Horn Under Chair
Glue the "quack" under the chair of a colleague after raising the height of the seat.
Stationery in jelly
Treat colleagues to delicious jelly stuffed with their pens, pencils and other writing utensils.
Cotton candy
Another April Fool's treat is chocolate-covered cotton balls. They look appetising until they start chewing.
Rubber trap
Wrap a smartphone or other constantly needed thing of a friend with stationery rubber bands. The main thing is that there are a lot of them. So many. When he shoots them, you will hear many "flattering" things about yourself. :)
Eyes everywhere!
At night, while everyone is sleeping, glue your eyes on all the food in the fridge. Imagine: you get up, still sleepy, go to the refrigerator, and there ... :)
Under the water
Dip your friend's mascara or another waterproof item into an upside-down glass of water. (Take a glass with ice, put ink, turn it over. After a while, the glass will be half full ... or empty.) Be careful! The draw is fraught with tantrums.
A haircut
Buy an artificial strand to match the colour of your girlfriend's hair and imitate a haircut: "Oh, dear, it seems I cut off your curl ...". Carefully! The prank is fraught with a sexual boycott.
Sexy tattoo
Girlish revenge on the previous two jokes can be this: a tattoo sticker in the form of a butterfly or a heart on the neck or lower back. You need to apply it while the man is sleeping, and it is better from behind so that he does not immediately see and erase it. Let him justify himself to his colleagues at work. ;)
"Honey, take out the trash!"
Another girly prank. Girls put on a clean trash bag and hide. The main thing is the effect of surprise!
Mustard Flavored Toothpaste
Add a little mustard to the tube (it should be incomplete). Usually, people brush their teeth on the machine, not paying attention to what is squeezed out onto the brush.
Oil-based antiperspirant
Replace your creamy antiperspirant with butter. Those who fall for this trick will have to retake a shower. But that's why it's April 1st, right?
Sandwich with a surprise
When making a sandwich on April 1, removing the cellophane from the cheese is not necessary. So, maybe not tasty, but fun.
Blot
Make a PVA blot and place it on a friend's laptop. When he opens the computer's lid, it will take him a few seconds to realise that the disaster did not happen.
Parked - Packed
Wrap (generously) a friend, neighbour, or colleague's car in cling film. There will be no harm to the vehicle, and a lot of fun. At least for you. At least until they catch up.
Neon milk
Kids will love the prank, especially if they don't like to drink milk and you force them to (calcium and all). Add a little food colouring to the pack and watch your child's eyes widen.
Cup invasion
Place plastic cups filled with water throughout the corridor. This is an excellent test of ingenuity (how to get to the exit?), especially if a person is in a hurry.
Surprise Cake
If someone close to you has a birthday on April 1, he is unlucky to please him with a cake made by himself. Such a gift will be remembered for a long time.
An unexpected guest If someone close to you has a birthday on April 1, he is not lucky, please him with a cake made by himself. Such a gift will be remembered for a long time.
Unexpected guest
Attach a photo of his idol to a friend's peephole and ring the doorbell. Most importantly, come uninvited.
Turn
Plush toys can be very realistic and cute. Imagine the household's reaction when they see such a line to the toilet.
Non-spill shampoo
Seal the shampoo with cling film. A person who wants to wash will shake the bottle for a long time: it seems full, but nothing is pouring.
Stickers
Great office prank. Bring some color (and hassle) to your co-workers' lives by pasting their workspaces with colorful stickers. But don't do it if your superiors don't have a sense of humor.
Letter substitution
If your buddy has a regular keypad, swap a couple of keys. Surely he will not immediately understand what the catch is.
You can also prank your friends by cooking strange but delicious April Fools' dishes. Find out how in our video review.
Christmas in America has long been no longer a religious holiday, but more of a family holiday, when everyone gathers at home. Considering that the United States is a mixture-country of emigrants, it is only natural that all traditions are mixed.
The most wonderful feature of American Christmas is that it has a "free-spirit", meaning there are no strict rules and each family invents traditions according to their taste. Breaking with traditions, in fact, is a new trend. In recent years, more and more families are abandoning homemade food and making reservations for an evening at a restaurant with live music, or going to the movies. Hollywood and independent movie studios are preparing special Christmas movies for the whole family.
However, it is a tradition that has survived for generations, namely "the apple pie", ie the apple pie. It is quite possible that the baking survived because it is delicious and brings back pleasant memories.
Traditionally, it is baked at home, but the shops offer a wonderful collection of baked goods of all kinds and if you don't want to spend a whole day in the kitchen, there are a lot of alternatives available: with apples, cherries, peaches or apricots. Sweets are generally the fault of the holidays.
Everyone has a favorite "sin." For us, it is dark chocolate, the higher the percentage of cocoa, the better: 80% -90% is perfect.
And just like delicious chocolate, we have funny Christmas memes for you. Bemorepanda loves Christmas and winter holidays!
Christmas Tree and Cats
Congratulations on Christmas
Dashing Through The Snow
Do You Know What I Got For Christmas
Don’t Blame The Holidays
I Destroyed Your Gifts
On Christmas
Lack Of Christmas Spirit Disturbing
I Juanna Wish You A Merry Christmas
I Noticed You Said Merry Christmas
It’ph Chriphtmaph
I’ve Seen Your Facebook Statuses
Merry Christmas Everyone
Merry Christmas You Filthy Animal
Oh Chrismas Weave
Santa Claus Was Real
Single Bells
Works 1 Day A Year
You Want A Pony For Christmas
Christmas Is Cancelled
Christmas Is Almost Here
Merry Christmas
It’s Advent
It’s The Most Terrible Time Of The Year
Santa I Want My Gift
Merry Christmas
Naughty Or Nice
Remember Always Smile
Santa Gave Me Some Coal
So Excited
The Worst Part About Christmas
Christmas Is Too Mainstream
We Love Holidays
What Do You Mean
Wreck The Tree
Brace yourself
Diabeetus
Have a Merry Christmas
I Find Your Lack Of Cheer Disturbing
Merry Christmas Just Kidding
Hoe Hoe Hoe
My Girlfriend Just Broke Up With Me
One Does Not Simply
Merry Christmas
One Does Not Simply Play Christmas Songs
Wow Such Festive
Texted All My Friends
Know What Happened
When You Think Of Really Funny Christmas Memes
Why Is Santa’s Sack So Big
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Science is a special type of human cognitive activity aimed at obtaining, substantiating and systematizing objective knowledge about the world, man, society and knowledge itself, on the basis of which a person transforms reality.
Science memes
Knowledge is created and used in any sphere of human activity, but only in the field of science, the production of new knowledge is not only a means but also the main goal and main product of labor. At the same time, both the scientific knowledge itself and the process of obtaining it have a number of specific features, which, taken together, are not typical for knowledge obtained in other areas of activity.
1. Med school
2. Small things
3. This kid
Science is also understood as a historically developing set of results of intellectual activity systematized in a certain way and the social institution within which it is carried out. In the institutional context, the concept of "science" is used to refer to certain areas of scientific knowledge and the scientific disciplines that constitute them. Modern science is an extremely ramified set of individual scientific branches.
Science as a special kind of intellectual production has its own productive forces, production relations regulated by the relevant norms and standards, as well as the subject and product of labor, and includes many elements: the actual producers of scientific knowledge (scientists); historically determined forms of division and cooperation of scientific labor; conceptual and categorical apparatus of scientific disciplines; procedures for isolating the field of problems, methods and theories that can be defined as scientific; methods of scientific research, verification and systematization of acquired knowledge; scientific institutions; technical support of scientific production; system of scientific information and communications.
4. Stressed out
5. Made you cry
6. Egyptology
The direct functions of science are the study, description, explanation and prediction of reality. At the same time, science represents only one of the cuts of the diversity of the world, therefore it does not exhaust the entire culture (see Culture), but constitutes only one of the areas that interacts with other areas of human creative and cognitive activity: philosophical, artistic, empirical, religious, mythological, ideological and others. However, a clear explication of the specific features of science in the form of signs and definitions turns out to be a rather difficult task. This is evidenced by the variety of definitions of science, the ongoing discussions on the problem of demarcation between it and other forms of knowledge.
Science sets itself the ultimate goal of foreseeing the process of transforming objects of practical activity (an object in its initial state) into corresponding products (an object in its final state). This transformation is always determined by the essential connections, laws of change and development of objects, and the activity itself can be successful only when it is consistent with these laws.
Therefore, scientific knowledge is characterized by a focus on the object, on the identification of its own, immanent laws of functioning and development of the object under study. Arising from the needs of practice and regulating it in a special way, science aims to reveal the laws according to which objects can be transformed in human activity. Since any objects can be transformed in activity - fragments of nature, social systems and society as a whole (see Society), states of human consciousness, and others - to the extent that all of them can become subjects of scientific research.
Science studies them as objects that function and develop according to their own natural laws. It can also study a person as a subject of activity, but also as a special object. With regard to the processes of transformation of nature, this function is performed by the natural and technical sciences. The processes of change in social objects are studied by the social sciences. The orientation of science towards the study of objects that can be included in activity (either actually or potentially as possible objects of future transformation), and their study as obeying the objective laws of functioning and development, constitute the first main feature of scientific knowledge.
7. In our lab
8. Sad algae
9. The animal
This feature distinguishes it from other forms of human cognitive activity and determines the nature of scientific discourse, which is characterized by a claim to intersubjective significance (objectivity). So, for example, in art, the assimilation of reality always occurs as a kind of combination of the subjective and the objective, in which any reproduction of certain states of the world, man and society presupposes their emotional personal assessment. An artistic image always acts as a unity of the general and the individual, rational and emotional, and a work of art bears the stamp of a personal attitude to the world.
The scientific assimilation of reality differs from the artistic assimilation of reality by its orientation towards rational, logically substantiated and generalized objective knowledge. The products of scientific knowledge appear to be extremely cleansed of the personal component and open to criticism by any opponent who accepts the presumptions of science.
The sign of objectivity and objectivity of knowledge is the most important characteristic of science, but it is still insufficient to determine its specificity, since ordinary knowledge can also give separate objective and objective knowledge. In contrast, science is not limited to the study of only those objects, their properties and relationships that can be mastered in the practice of the corresponding historical era. It is able to go beyond the boundaries of each historically defined type of practice and open up new objective worlds for mankind, which can become objects of mass practical development only at future stages of the development of civilization.
The constant desire of science to expand the field of objects under study, regardless of today's opportunities for their mass practical development, is the system-forming feature that justifies other characteristics of science that distinguish it from ordinary knowledge.
10. Work hard
11. My thesis
12. Just a book stand
13. A sentance
14. Farts
First of all, it is the difference in their products (results). Ordinary knowledge creates a conglomeration of knowledge, information, prescriptions and beliefs, only separate fragments of which are interconnected. The truth of knowledge is verified here directly in actual practice, since knowledge is constructed in relation to objects that are included in the processes of production and social experience. But since science constantly goes beyond these limits, it can only partially rely on the available forms of mass practical development of objects. She needs special practices, with the help of which the truth of her knowledge is checked. Such a practice becomes a scientific experiment (see Experiment). Part of the knowledge is directly verified in the experiment, the rest are interconnected by logical connections, which ensures the transfer of truth from one statement to another. As a result, the characteristics of its knowledge inherent in science arise - their systemic organization, validity and proof.
Science, unlike everyday knowledge, involves the use of special means and methods of activity; it is characterized by the presence of a developed apparatus of methods and procedures used for rational justification, proof and verification of the knowledge gained. It cannot be limited to using only natural language and those tools that are used in production and everyday practice. In addition to them, it needs special means of activity - a special language (empirical and theoretical, created on the basis of natural language or created artificially) and special technical and instrumental equipment. It is the constant development of these tools that ensures the study of new objects, including those that go beyond the possibilities of existing production and social practice.
Related to this are the needs of science in the constant development of special methods that ensure the development of new objects, regardless of the possibilities of their current practical development. Such objects, as a rule, are not given in advance, are not fixed by the methods of everyday practice and production activities, since they go beyond their boundaries. The method in science often serves as a condition for fixing the object of study and determining its main features. Therefore, along with knowledge about objects, science systematically develops knowledge about methods.
15. Mendeleev
16. Sunscreen
17. Just medicine
18. Exam paper
19. Mom stuff
20. Moving a picture
21. Exams
22. Cells
23. Medicine
24. Astronauts
25. Potassium
26. Toxic
27. Kelvin is cold
28. Rhythm
29. Due to the fact
30. Chemestry
31. Amazing
32. A+
33. Insults
34. What sort?
35. Scholaship
36. What was the reason?
37. Reading
38. Biologists
39. Chemistry exam
40. Zero
Chuck Norris jokes during coronavirus have gone viral - Best 20 of them collected by Bemorepanda
Chuck Norris is popular all over the world not only because of his roles in movies and series, but also because of the jokes and memes in which he also has the lead role.
Most of them make fun of Norris' supernatural strength, which is not far from the truth, since the American actor is, first of all, a martial arts expert with 7 consecutive titles of world karate champion.
Now are trending the memes about Chuck Noris and coronavirus.
1.Chuck Norris has been exposed to the coronavirus, now coronavirus is in quarantine
2.Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in
3.Coronavirus washed its hands after meeting Chuck
4.Chuck and social distancing
5.Drinking coronavirus
6.Covid 19 is worried
7.Chuck Norris doesn't need any toilet paper
8.Chuck Norris infects coronavirus
9.Norris found a cure for the coronavirus
10.Coronavirus afraid of catching Norris
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