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Funniest 911 calls ever shared on Reddit by operators

7 months ago
funniest-911-calls-ever-shared-on-reddit-by-operators

Children are taught the idea from an early age: "Call 911 only in extreme cases." But children grow up and seem to forget this rule. We collected well, hilarious calls to the rescue service.

 

Funny 911 calls

 

Reddit users asked dispatchers to share the strangest calls they've ever received. The discussion turned out to be so lively that it gathered thousands of comments in a couple of days. We have selected some of the funniest stories for you.

 

1. Arrest my brother

 

2. Pizza delivery

 

3. A grown man

 

The woman decided to contact the rescue service with the following problem: “I ordered Chinese food, paid with a card. The food was not brought, and the money is refused to be returned.” The dispatcher clarified, "And that's why you're calling 911?" “What else am I supposed to do, go there and get my money by force?” – the woman was indignant.

 

“You know, I grow marijuana, and I just want to clarify how big the plant will grow?” asked 21-year-old Robert Mikaelson. After 15 minutes, the police came to his house and arrested him.

 

“So… my problem is… I took a few pills. In general, I drank two tablets of Viagra, and my erection has not gone away for four days ... Nothing has changed, and I'm already feeling bad, ”an unknown man told the dispatcher.

 

4. Seven months of Christmas

 

5. Cheetos

 

Key in the butt

“The guy called from the payphone to complain that he had a pipe wrench sticking up his ass and needed an ambulance. He pointed to the place where the pay phone was located. I asked him if he could tell me about his appearance so that I could be sure the medics could find him. His response: "Look, man, I'll be the only guy on the corner with a pipe wrench in his ass." I couldn't argue with that...

 

How to recognize a cow

— I called 911 about two cows running down the street near my parents' house. The dispatcher asked me to describe the animals, and I said, "Lady, I promise you these are the only two cows running right down the street here." Then one of them was hit by a jeep, and I had to clarify that now only one cow was running down the street.

 

Keep your mouth shut!

I got a call to 911, and I couldn't figure out who was calling. The man mumbled. I knew he was calling from the bar, so I asked if he was drinking? After much questioning, I determined that he wanted to call the police and not an ambulance. He tried to file an assault charge because the woman pulled his tongue. I asked, "How did she get your tongue out?" He replied, "Because I showed it to her." I had to mute the bell because I was laughing so hard.

 

6. Donate a building

 

7. Cat tree problems

 

8. Liquid

 

Lazy pop!

“My late aunt once called 911 because my uncle didn’t want to turn off the fan blowing on her. Since it was a small community in Michigan, the police laughed and came and turned on the fan.

 

Punish for promiscuity

- An elderly, very embarrassed woman called the police from the hospital and told the doctors to remove her hair clips, thereby letting her hair down. So what, that she was being prepared for a CT scan of the head, now her hair was in a mess!

 

Lazy ass - 2

“My best friend once told me that an older woman used to call 911 all the time complaining of chest pains. Then, when the paramedics arrived, she said that everything was in order and asked to turn off the light in the bedroom. She only called them because she didn't want to turn off the lights. She did this several times a week.

 

9. School vibes

 

10. Math homework

 

11. Cardiac arrest

 

12. Drunk people

 

13. Insulated shirt

 

A pregnant woman called to say that her doctor had advised her to abstain from sex for the rest of her pregnancy, and she didn't understand why. I explained to her that it was safer that way. She tearfully exclaims, “But how am I going to feed the baby?”

 

Me: Excuse me, ma'am, could you repeat your question?

 

She: How will I feed my baby if I can't have sex?

 

... The woman was sure that her child was living on her boyfriend's sperm and that he would starve if they stopped having sex. I explained to her about the umbilical cord, etc. But she refused to believe me until I asked her about single moms and lesbian couples and stuff. After a moment of silence, she thanked me and hung up. I felt sorry for their unborn child.

 

My father worked as a dispatcher in the Netherlands. He received a call from a man who was upset about something, crying, asking for help.

My father, being a professional, remained calm and asked what the cause of the disaster was:

"Ajax lost again..."

Ajax is the Dutch football team for those who are not familiar with football.

 

An old lady calls 911. She asks what happened, why it was dark, and where the sun was. You heard the anxiety and worried in her voice. It was 3 am. It took some time to explain that it was the middle of the night. She finally understood what was going on and apologized for calling.

 

A guy who went with two girls to a hotel room for sexual pleasure called to complain that they stole $50 and kicked him out of the room. The dispatcher told him that this was not theft but payment for services rendered. As a result, the guy was arrested.

 

14. Chupacabra

 

15. Hello

 

16. Where’s my mom

 

17. Seagull

 

18. Pigeons

 

19. Allergic reaction

 

20. I want a donut

 

21. Locked a pig in the bathroom

 

22. Football

 

23. About nightmares

 

24. Dog acting strange

 

25. Funny story

 

26. What day is it

 

27. Pet rock

 

28. Dead body

 

29. Ask a pig

 

30. Dog story

 

 

 

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20-times-when-people-found-such-outlandish-things-at-flea-markets-that-they-could-not-pass-by

 If you are one of those people who avoids flea markets and second-hand shops, then you will never understand the excitement with which people are looking for "treasures" in these stores. And there, believe me, there are a lot of them! After all, what one person does not need can be a thing that another person desperately needs, and this is what makes finds from thrift stores so valuable.

 

“I am an electrician and I constantly save old fixtures by taking them out of the trash heap or buying them for next to nothing at thrift stores. I already have a whole collection in my basement, and this octopus will also replenish it ”

06-16-41-16233325181536238702

 

“I found this vintage Edwardian wedding dress at a local thrift store and couldn't leave it there. It cost only 7 dollars and, besides, I have a wedding soon, so I think I was very lucky "

06-16-42-16233325222082613130

 

 "I found these photos from the premiere of Good Will Hunting at an antique store in Seattle."

06-16-42-16233325252004897095

 

"For years I was tempted by miniature chairs in thrift stores, and one day I finally bought nine of them."

06-16-42-16233325292009307888

 

"I went to a thrift store and found this duck there, not even suspecting that it was an incense burner."

06-16-42-16233325321140573022

 

 

"I'm just in love with these gold earrings with an angel and a devil, which I was lucky to snatch at a flea market."

06-16-42-1623332536541831804

 

"This is one of the sweetest budget purchases I've made in a thrift store to date."

06-16-42-16233325391474675588

 

"A magical find at today's garage sale"

06-16-42-1623332543866326073

 

“As soon as I saw this chair, I remembered about my cat, August, and for good reason - he immediately appreciated it”

06-16-42-16233325451689068160

 

"I fell in love with them and just couldn't pass by!"

06-16-42-16233325482038727224

 

 

"I found this naughty raver outfit at a garage sale and I can't wait to get people to wear it!"

06-16-42-16233325541937496110

 

"I got this beauty for just 5 bucks."

06-16-42-16233325581735315257

 

"A wicker miracle that both my cats liked"

06-16-42-1623332561558313989

 

"I gladly paid $ 25 for this BEAUTY!"

06-16-42-162333256574807290

 

“I found this brass fly ashtray at a thrift store in Wisconsin. I'm going to fill it with pretty pebbles that I found in our backyard. "

06-16-42-16233325681513033397

 

"I'm just wildly delighted with my recent find."

06-16-42-162333257386294452

 

"I went to a flea market for things that I really needed ... and returned with a frog-shaped mirror for $ 2."

06-16-42-16233325761059363411

 

"A few months ago, I bought this incredible handbag for women at auction."

06-16-42-16233325781903925293

 

"This is possibly the coolest thing I've ever found in a thrift store!"

06-16-43-16233325821556929553



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50-fascinating-facts-about-koala-that-shows-how-cute-they-are

Koalas are amazing mammals that do not have any related species among those living on the planet. And, despite some outward resemblance to bears, koalas are completely different creatures. Their friendly disposition, funny habits and attractive appearance have long made them the favorites of the public in many countries. They even became one of the symbols of Australia. In this article, we will reveal interesting facts about koalas and help you better understand these creatures.


1. The only continent they inhabit is Australia.


2. Koalas are one of the few marsupial animals in the world.


3. Newborn cubs are not yet fully developed embryos, like, for example, kangaroos, and therefore, after birth, they spend about 6 months in their mother's pouch.


4. Koalas do not have any different species - only one. Although a certain biological similarity with wombats is still traced, the latter are more reminiscent of huge hamsters.



5. The first settlers in Australia considered koalas to be bears because of their appearance. However, further research showed that they were wrong.


6. In our time, the habitat of koalas in the wild is about 1 million square kilometers. This is about twice the area of ​​Spain.


7. The basis of the diet of koalas are eucalyptus leaves. They are low in calories, and therefore these animals are rather slow, and they constantly eat most of their lives.


8. The first food to which koalas teach their cubs is the excrement of the mother. From them, the cubs receive nutrients that are not fully digested, and thus their body learns to assimilate eucalyptus.


9. Koalas usually form harems, where there are 3-4 females per male, or even more.


10. The gestation period of a female koala usually does not exceed a month. This is very small for such a relatively large animal, therefore, the development of a newborn cub continues in the mother's pouch.



11. James Cook, who opened the coast of Australia for Europeans, did not see any koalas.


12. They were first noticed and investigated only after several decades.


13. Koalas have a very slow metabolism, it is about 2 times slower in comparison with other warm-blooded mammals. Because of this, they survive on a low-calorie diet of eucalyptus leaves.


14. Despite the seeming awkwardness, koalas run pretty fast.


15. They swim, by the way, very well.


 

16. Koalas have five toes on their feet, but only four of them have claws. They help these animals climb trees.


17. Koalas living in the south of Australia are noticeably larger than their relatives from the north of the mainland.


18. On the front paws of koalas there are two thumbs, but no index.


19. The fur of these animals is very soft and delicate to the touch, and the thickness of the fur coat reaches 2-3 centimeters.


20. Whenever possible, koalas move by jumping from tree to tree.



21. They drop to the ground extremely rarely, as they are afraid of predators.


22. Eucalyptus leaves are almost never eaten by other animals, as they are poisonous. However, koalas have adapted to eating them, however, even they eat only 120 species out of almost 1000 - those in which there is less poison. In addition to leaves, they also eat young shoots.


23. The cry of a frightened koala is very similar to the cry of a baby.


24. Most of the koala's life is motionless.


25. They either sit and chew the leaves melancholy, or they just don't move. This is a consequence of the aforementioned slow metabolism.



26. During the mating season, male koalas, attracting a female, can scream so loudly that these screams are heard at a distance of 2-3 kilometers.


27. A study of the fossil remains of koalas showed that their ancestors had much larger brains. Over time, it degraded, most likely due to a low-calorie diet.


28. Male koalas have two penises, while females have two vaginas and two uterus.


29. The ratio of brain mass to body mass in these animals is one of the smallest among all mammals. On average, in an adult koala, the brain accounts for only about 0.2% of the total body weight.


30. Koalas have fingerprints, which are almost indistinguishable from human ones. Apart from them, only humans and monkeys have fingerprints.



31. The average lifespan of koalas in the wild is still unknown. The official record in captivity is 18 years.


32. Koalas spend almost their entire life in the crowns of eucalyptus trees.


33. Koalas are the only modern representatives of the family of the same name.


34. Contrary to popular belief, koalas are not bears and do not have any family ties with them.


35. The Latin name of the species of koalas is translated as "ashen".



36. Tenacious fingers, which have a special structure, allow koalas not only to climb trees, but also to sleep, clinging to the nearest branch or trunk.


37. Frightened or injured koalas scream like little children.


38. Pregnancy of koalas lasts about a month.


39. The body length of newborn koalas is only 15-18 mm.


40. The ancestors of the koala lived on our planet 25 million years ago. The animal was called Coalemus.



41. Koala is not afraid of sun rays and precipitation.


42. In the zoo, koalas live up to 18 years.


43. Koalas don't see very well. The deficiency is fully compensated for by excellent hearing and smell.


44. It's no secret that the most expensive coffee in the world is luwak. It is made from the excrement of small animals.


45. Due to the lack of competition in eating eucalyptus leaves, animals never need food.



46. ​​Koalas practically do not move on the ground. They descend from the tree, only to climb the next one.


47. Despite the use of eucalyptus leaves, animals often get sick.


48. Koalas do not hesitate to ask people for help. This happens during illness or moisture deficiency.


49. During the forest fires in Australia 10 years ago, koalas came to people in droves for water. However, even in the absence of cataclysms, it is often possible to meet an animal not far from the road.


50. Koala is on the list of animals that have a harmless appearance and at the same time are quite dangerous.


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He is speaking facts😀

3 years ago

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funny-80-random-facts-that-are-too-interesting-to-ignore-bemorepanda

When you know the answer to something no one else in the room does, it makes you feel like a genius. So, if you're a fan of the little things, want your next night to be memorable, or just love learning new things that no one else knows about, you've come to the right place. You never know when you'll need to pull those facts, which is part of the fun. So, we invite you to play with us and check out our list of random facts.

 

Is there any useless information? Never. All those little random, interesting, funny, scary facts, or did you know that the facts you store in your brain exist for a reason and are sure to come in handy someday...even if it's just for you to could beat your best dude or surprise a bored toddler on a family field trip. Just in case you don't have enough information cluttering your brain, here are some more fun, interesting, or just plain fun tidbits to keep on hand.

 

Interesting and funny facts about animals

 

1. The fur of polar bears is actually clean, and their skin is black.

 

2. Baby flamingos are born grey, not pink.

 

3. A woodpecker's tongue actually wraps around its brain completely, protecting it from damage when it hits a tree.

 

4. The shrimp's heart is in its head.

 

5. Elephants suck their trunks for convenience.

 

6. Anteaters have no teeth.

 

7. Nine-banded armadillos always have quadrupeds, and they are always identical.

 

8. Wombat poop is cube shaped.

 

9. A flock of flamingos is called brightness.

 

 

10. Hippos and horses are actually distant relatives.

 

11. All clown fish are born male.

 

12. In the UK, the Queen legally owns all unmarked swans.

 

13. In order not to disperse, sea otters hold hands during sleep.

 

14. Goats have an accent.

 

15. Dolphins give each other names.

 

16. Gorillas can catch a cold, although you can probably still go to the zoo with a runny nose.

 

17. Forget bald eagles. The turkey was once almost called the national bird.

 

 

18. A group of owls is called a parliament.

 

19. There are 32 muscles in a cat's ear.

 

20. Snails can regenerate their eyes.

 

21. Want to know if your pet turtle is a boy or a girl? Listen carefully! Female turtles hiss and male turtles grunt.

 

22. A starfish can turn its stomach inside out.

 

23. French poodles are actually from Germany.

 

 

24. Seahorses mate for life and are often seen telling each other stories.

 

25. A group of porcupines is called a thorn.

 

26. Andrew Jackson's parrot had to be removed from his funeral because he wouldn't stop swearing. Polly wants to rinse her mouth.

 

27. Sloths can hold their breath for up to 40 minutes.

 

Interesting and funny historical facts

 

28. Henry VIII knighted all four of his Grooms of the Chair - the men in charge of wiping his ass for him.

 

29. Jeanette Rankin was elected to Congress four years before women could vote.

 

30. Women could not apply for a bank loan until 1974.

 

31. Before the invention of modern artificial teeth, dentures were usually made from the teeth of dead soldiers.

 

32. In ancient Egypt, servants were smeared with honey so that flies would fly to them instead of the pharaoh.

 

33. It was once considered blasphemous to use a fork.

 

34. Abe Lincoln was a champion wrestler. He was also a licensed bartender. Maybe they should call him Abe of all trades.

 

35. George Washington owned a whiskey distillery.

 

 

36. More than two percent of the American population died during the civil war.

 

37. Joseph Stalin removed people from photographs after their death or dismissal from office.

 

38. Since 1945, all British tanks have been equipped with everything necessary for making tea.

 

39. Pope Gregory IV once declared war on cats because he thought Satan was using black cats. His statement led to the mass extermination of cats.

 

40. The absence of cats led to an invasion of rats, which led to the spread of the plague.

 

50. John Adams was the first president to live in the White House.

 

51. Go to sleep! Chernobyl, the Exxon Valdez oil spill, and the Challenger explosion are all linked to lack of sleep.

 

Interesting and funny travel facts

 

52. The average person living in Sweden eats about 22 pounds of chocolate a year.

 

53. Although the Wright brothers are known as a couple, they actually flew together only once. They promised their father that they would always fly separately.

 

54. In Montana, there are three times more cows than people.

 

55. Parts of the Great Wall of China were made from sticky rice.

 

56. Ninety percent of the world's population lives above the equator.

 

57. There are more saunas in Finland than cars.

 

58. Sixty percent of the world's lakes (three million in total) are located in Canada.

 

59. Virginia is the only state that has the same staff flower and staff tree - Dogwood.

 

 

60. Think before the season. In Egypt, it is considered incredibly rude to salt the food you have been served.

 

61. Ninety percent of the territory of Libya is desert.

 

62. The height of the Eiffel Tower can vary up to six inches, depending on the temperature.

 

63. Do you spend too much on drinks when you eat out? A small town in Italy has a fountain that serves free wine.

 

64. Pilots and their co-pilots should eat differently before the flight so that both of them do not get sick with food poisoning.

 

65. About 600 Parisians work on the Eiffel Tower every day.

 

66. Do you want to go to Rome? Which one of? Six of the seven continents have a city called Rome. (You really fell, Antarctica.)

 

67. When you visit Key West, you are actually closer to Havana than Miami.

 

Interesting and fun facts about music

 

68. Mary, known as "Mary Had the Lamb", was a real person and the song is based on real events.

 

69. Happy Birthday was the first song ever played on Mars. Mars Rover Curiosity played this song to itself on its first anniversary on the planet.

 

70. When you listen to music, your heart is in sync with the beat.

 

71. President Nixon was an accomplished musician. He played five instruments, including the accordion.

 

72. Is the song stuck in your head? This is called an earworm.

 

73. None of The Beatles could read music.

 

74. However, George Harrison was reportedly able to play 26 instruments.

 

 

75. Barry Manilow didn't actually write I Write Songs.

 

76. Metallica is the only band to play on all seven continents.

 

77. Most department stores tend to play music slower to slow down shoppers and make them shop longer. The reverse is true for restaurants.

 

78. Monaco's orchestra is bigger than its army.

 

79. A concert promoter once sold a thousand tickets to a Spice Girls concert in Hawaii that were never booked. Maybe that's where the idea for Fyre Fest came from.

 

80. Leo Fender, inventor of the Stratocaster and Telecaster, couldn't play the guitar.

 

 

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top-50-things-that-were-extremely-cool-10-years-ago-which-will-make-us-feel-emotional

Idiotic applications on phones, stupid photos and stupid highlights, after which we all became like tigers ... Thank God those times are far behind.

 

Ten years ago, the world was completely different. You couldn't order a car with Uber. You couldn't use the Google Chrome browser and book an apartment through Airbnb.

 

We did these incredible things 10 years ago. Now is the story that we tell our children. Bemorepanda has collected all these facts and photos for you.

 

1. Twilight stuff

The inside of a Hot Topic store with a display shelf full of Twilight merchandise

 

2. Taking mirror selfies like this

Photo of a girl taking a mirror selfing wearing shutter shades and pointing the camera in front of her face toward the mirror

 

 

3. Profile pic

Spongebob with diamond grillz and a huge chain

 

 

4. Uploading photo on Facebook:

Screenshot of the Photo Upload section on Facebook

 

5. Lying about your life on LiveJournal

The LiveJournal logo which features a blue pencil doodling on a blue background

 

6. Convincing people the iPhone was worth the money

Screenshot of iBeer app featuring a man drinking what looks like a frothy beer out of his iPhone

 

 

7. Or this app

Screenshot of Lightsaber app section that allowed you to customize your own lightsaber

 

And that one app

Photo of an iPhone with a Zippo lighter over the entire screen

 

8. BlackBerry BBM conversations:

A photo of hand holding a BlackBerry

 

9. Brick Breaker score:

A screenshot of the Brick Breaker game

 

10.Internet Explorer crashed:

A screenshot of a crash Internet Explorer page

 

11. Pirates could beat ninjas in a fight:

A flag featuring a Pirate Ninja logo and Pirate vs. Ninjas written over it

 

12. Buying bootleg DVDs

A hand holding several bootleg DVDs

 

13. Bragging about the DVDs you had in your Netflix queue:

An old Netflix DVD queue from the 2009

 

14. Quoting that one Starburst Berries and Cream commercial

A man dressed as Tom Thumb

 

15. And quoting Borat A LOT:

 

16. Randomly yelling, "Leave Britney alone!"

Chris Crocker under a sheet crying under a sheet

 

17. Just posting on Facebook:

Facebook post of someone talking about how much they like Raisin Bran

 

Facebook status about being outside

 

18. Chuck Norris jokes

A meme of Chuck Norris of him holding guns with "Santa Claus was real...until he forgot my present" written on it

 

19. Typing like this:

 

20. Thinking it was funny to Rickroll your friends:

 

21. Leaving a fake outgoing voicemail greetings

A photo of a woman looking confused on a phone

 

22. Using laser pointers all the time

A photo of man shinning his laser pointer on the street at night

 

23. Talking about Michael Phelps's diet like six times a day:

A screen shot of a man looking at a bunch of junk food

 

24. Taking pictures with that one awful Photo Booth filter:

 

25. Everyone on Facebook writing "LOST PHONE, NEED NUMBERS" groups:

 

26. Watching full-length movies that cost tens of millions of dollars to make on an iPod with a 2-inch screen:

A finger pushing the forward button an iPod Mini that is playing a Disney Movie

 

27. Having some top songs as your ringtone:

 

28. "DON'T TASE ME, BRO!" :

A man lifting his arms while being held down by cops

 

29. Sharing memes about all the times Christian Bale and Kermit the Frog were basically twins:

A photo of Christian Bale driving a car and a photo of Kermit the Frog driving a car

 

30. Sending out FarmVille invites to your friends and family:

A screenshot of the FarmVille game

 

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